DesignR1 Full Circle USA Tour

I'm now writing a new Blog for MotoZania.com

2009-06-19T03:17:00.001-07:00

Well I've been pretty lax about keeping this blog up to date after my mammoth tour so it will end here.

I am now working as the Business Development Coordinator for UK/Europe for MotoZania.com.

I will be writing a weekly(ish) column (very journalistic term). OK a blog.

I will be testing bikes and gear and generally ranting in my usual way. Do follow as I ride different motorcycles and publish my impressions. From now on go to http://motozaniajkblog.blogspot.com/ or www.motozania.com.

Thanks for following my trip. It will be a hard ACT! to follow. (groan). There will be many more...

Too much happening and too many things not written about

2009-05-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

Flamin' Henry but I'm behind on this blog thing. I never wrote about my BMW F800GS test ride in Phoenix. Or all about the tough times in business (Ahhh we're sick of hearing about that!) or my recent work to renovate my little house in England. I think the best thing is to post a load of photos with a simple one-line explanation in order as they appear. (see end of blog).

I'm currently in California looking into getting a new venture going for the DesignR1 brand. It involves design (no surprise there then!) and won't be far away from motorbikes if I can even manage to get a sniff at starting the project in this economic climate.

First off: In October 08 Victory BMW in Chandler AZ let me test the F800GS. It was GREAT to ride but, just as BIKE magazine wrote, the vibration through the bars is bad. I mean bad bad. As in stand in bathtub full of water, hold sharp metal object long enough to shove into an electrical outlet (best do it with the UK 230V for full effect) and enjoy. Flickable, lovable, great style, comfortable and quick. It's a parallel twin. I had Triumphs, Nortons, BSA etc. They shake themselves into little bits but at least they leave a trail of shiny bits, nuts, bolts, number plates, trim, keys, knobs, bulbs, shoes, etc for the rescuers to locate you at night after the Lucas (The Prince of Darkness) electrics have failed. The BMW twin it seemed to me would have you loving every minute until you arrive at which point the motel staff will think you've had a stroke as your whole left side fails to function. Entertaining.

Hyperbole aside (now would I ever exaggerate?) it's a crackin' bike but I'm still sold on the KTM. If only the Austrians would hire a proctologist to analyse why they think cast concrete is the best material for the seat. Gel seat? When I get my KTM I'll strap a mattress to the flippin' saddle.

I was in Hawaii (Sage took us) and watched Arizona lose the Superbowl. I knew Warner shouldn't have trusted in God. I managed to blow a little blues harmonica with a local band but I had severe bronchitis so the power was way down. Still, it was fun.

I have just attended a Harley meet here in Riverside California and met some interesting people like Tim Kuglin the founder of Motozania (biker's social networking website and more www.motozania.com), and Mike Thomas of Kiwi Indian motorcycles. Hey, check out his website for pictures of Anthony Hopkins, Billy Joel, Jesse James (I thought he rode a horse not an Indian?) and Jay Leno. Jay's car is fantastic! Kiwi Indian Motorcycle Company are THE experts it seems www.kiwiindian.com. Anyway, the funny bit was riding to the event with Jax in full racing leathers (Z leathers) on an R1. It was like those tests: Fish, Octopus, Clam, Dolphin, BRICK.

I wore my J.D. Wetherspoon's Beer Festival T-shirt and snapped shots for Scott and the gang back at my local pub. I hope they get into Wetherspoon's monthly mag with these pics. Hi guys!

Oh, and hello to Andy Hart and all the Firemen in Haslemere (thanks for giving me a cardiac arrest by blowing that siren as you past me fixing my bike - you rats!). They put on a great show for biker safety in April and the next one in September will be even bigger.

Whilst home for a few weeks I sobered up one Saturday and me and Ramon my buddy and neighbour rode to Farnborough to sit on bikes and dream. He's on the Harley XR1200 (understandable - he's an accountant) and I'm on the new flat-plane crankshaft R1. Man oh man but I want to try that bike!

Meanwhile back at the ranch...I'll be meeting up with Rusty and his Ducati in LA and I hope to do some ride-outs with a few local California clubs.

Speaking of Ducatis, Brandon Cox, my mate in Phoenix, let me ride his Monster. Superb! Very agile after the R1 and with his Arrow pipes it gives the old earballs a good trashing! Brandon is just opening his own Gymn in Mesa and holds world records for picking up heavy things. I can't decide who the monster is, Brandon or his bike. His wife Terri could be picked up with one hand even by me so I declare his physique overkill.

My R1 needs sprockets so that will keep me busy until the weekend and another big Sage event in Nashville.

Photos in order of appearance from the top:

1) JK gets an American Football shirt from the promo girls. Note my England helmet.

2) BMW F800GS I buzzed around on.

3) Rob the founder of SouthWestRides and his evil but cool Harley.

4) JK on 09 R1.

5) Ramon (Moncho) on XR1200.

6) JK at Riverside Harley event in Wetherspoon Tshirt.

7) Typical custom with typical Harley guy on far left.

8) JK and Mike Thomas of Kiwi Indian.

Random happenings

2009-02-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

Pics: Me enjoying sunshine in the back garden just to tick off the boys back in Britain. Cindy fixes my back at our company get-together. Early morning mist over Phoenix on Boxing Day ride out with SW Rides. Fountain Hills AZ fountain blows. Its run by 2 V8 engines! Brandon and wife Terri with his bikes. He let me ride both his Hayabusa and SV1000. I liked the SV better. Sad.

Following my big tour I was nominated a member of South West Rides (http://www.southwestrides.com/) with my very own T-shirt and hefty medallion. Now I'm not a chap that rides in a crowd for several reasons. 1. I LOVE travelling alone. 2. People give me energy and if I get on one of my stand-up routine rants I yap like a Pekinese at a Postman's party. (I'm a stand-up comic - I stand up and people laugh) 3. I think I'm a wobbly crappy rider and shame drives me to solitude. 4. Alone I don't get in embarrassing situations if I have no money and 5. I like to ride at my own pace. Very fast in a straight line on empty roads and very badly round slow, tight bends. The R1's crap slow-speed turning gives me the excuses I need and it's eyeball-flattening acceleration cures all known illnesses immediately.

However, I have from time to time decided I should join a group for a 'blast' on a Sunday morning. The first time I decided to meet others and learn more was in England. So I rode to a pub in the woods near Woking and met a friendly bunch of Gixxer riders. Of course I am always amazed at how welcoming and easy going sports bike riders are. The problem is skill. These lads took off like JamesK from an emotional therapy session. I was so scared and over my limit (and still way behind) that when I finally peeled off at Guildford I thought it was normal to cruise the A3 at 140mph! It took 3 weeks for the adrenaline to subside. So I returned to my poodling about at 90(ish) and hid in laybys when I saw Suzuki GSXR riders.

Then after this big tour and meeting the guys and gals (how Yank is that eh?) I decided to try a ride with a group. They were super! The pace was good, the banter better and oh my goodness do the Yanks ever have some tasty bikes. No wonder at almost 1/2 the UK cost. I saw 2 (as in two) Ducati Desmosedici at the racetrack here in Phoenix. Jay Schroeder rode up and chatted away while I dribbled and drooled all over his carbon-clad hunk. I mean this was like petting a Nile crocodile. A $72,000 croc! The Yanks actually buy and RIDE Ducatis like they are useable every-day transport! I hate them all. Except when they generously say "Hey dude, take er for a spin!".

Anyway, I have since ridden with the SWride gang up the twisties of South Mountain Park to see the mist over Phoenix and the twisting, snaking Tortilla Flats out east. (The pace was sensible but I still had a few heart-skips as the front slid on fine sand around the curves). The old gold-mining town (well 1890's is old here) along Lost Dutchman road on the way out to Tortilla Flats is great.

I guess I should put down my impressions of the bikes I've ridden lately but I'm absolutely washed out with bronchitis (flu and a cold on top lasted 2 weeks) and that put a damper on the Hawaii trip. I'll write about that tomorrow maybe. I need to gather photos first.

Its been ages...too much going on

2008-12-31T13:57:00.000-08:00

Well I guess it looks like I dropped off the planet.
I did.

Way back in September I was home in good old Blighty and we actually had some nice weather. Our local Fire Brigade in Haslemere threw a bikers day to emphasize safety and Michelin tyres, amongst others, had a stand. I mention them because I must write their PR dept. about the longevity of these fantastic Michelin Pilot Road tyres. I had worn the old rear tyre to the carcass by St. Petersburg Florida and the chap at a dealer there recommended the Pilot Road for long distance. I've popped in a photo of the bugger after it's done more than 15,000 miles and there is still tread left! And roads in the USA are often pretty rough. Anyway, hundreds of bikers turned up over the course of the day. I think the free burgers and cups of tea were the real draw. That and the sight of so many great bikes. Safety chats were hardly going to be top billing now were they?

I was given a little room to show slides and explain to small groups of British bikers how to enjoy touring the States. I had to laugh at the old 2-stroke James Barnet bikes. I had forgotten that back then nearly all the British right-foot gear-change bikes had a gear indicator at the base of the lever. Try reading that at 60mph in pouring filthy rain. I used to try on my Norton 650 Dominator. Duffer I was.

I was only home a few weeks and did a bit of sightseeing to beautiful Clovelly in Devon http://www.devon-online.com/towns/clovelly and started more jobs around my tiny 1876 terraced house. I think I'll never finish. Then it was back to Phoenix and just in time for the Victory BMW Oktoberfest where I finally got to ride the BMW F800GS. That'll be the next blog.

German sausages and more...

2008-09-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

I was rooting around the web and reading stuff on www.southwestrides.com (after reading about my ride online they let me join) when I saw that they meet on Wednesdays in Mesa AZ at a German restaurant called Zur Kate. The menu had Sauerbraten, spaetzle, REAL beer, and Bratwurst etc etc. I was pig sick that a meeting kept me from joining them so last night I rode out there to sample the fare. It was very quiet but the food was great and the beer more so. I learned that some Irish chap had visited on the Wednesday night and that he was riding all the way down to Tierra Del Fuego! I would like to have met him, especilly as I have 3 kids living in Ireland. The Manager is a BMW rider and recommended Victory BMW so I was looking forward to this mornings test of the R1200GS. (See test of R1200GS already posted - this is older by 1 day - doh!)
I'll be back in Phoenix mid October and I'll be sure to visit the South West Rides group at Zur Kate and I want to test that F800GS at Victory's Octoberfest. Now how will I find the motivation to renovate my little house in England's rain when I want to be riding in the sun full of German food? Photos are Haslemere UK sunset vs Phoenix AZ sunset. AZ sunsets usually win...

I test the BMW R1200GS

2008-09-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Well I do feel like a twit. I rode my R1 the 5 miles to the dealership and after a fair bit of time and some simple paperwork I climbed aboard QE2, pulled the lanyard to signal we were about to leave port and pottered off. Unfortunately I was only allowed a brief low-mileage ride because the test BMW had failed headlamps so I was on a used one that was for sale. Used for just 1080 miles. I rode through traffic, road works and on the "freeway" to our offices, had Mark Hammer snap some pics and rode back. Sans my backpack...and my Yamaha keys and phone. I had to have Kristen our temp telesales girl come out with the keys to rescue me! I met 2 cops who were BMW fans and they were stunned at my riding 15000 miles on the R1. They said they get stopped for speeding all the time! Fun lads. Impressions? Well this is BMW's biggest seller and EVERYONE and his dog is buying one thanks to Ewan and Boorman. Not this boy. I'll take the KTM 990 Adventure any day...with a thick fur and gel seat added of course. I did appreciate the friendliness of Victory BMW in Chandler AZ. I will be there in October to try the F800GS. The Good the Bad and the Ugly on the Beemer is below.
Good: Gearchange is very slick. I LOVED the gear indicator. Light clutch. Smooth underway (but only from 1000-6000 rpm) and comfortable. Turns well and handles ok. Brakes were superb but less feel than my R1. Centrestand is easy to use in spite of the bikes size and weight.
Bad: Incredible wind noise around my helmet at just 40mph from the angular, tall windscreen. 5 times as noisey as my R1 and NO WAY could I live with that for 99 days! High and Heavy...and I mean SCAREY heavy. See the small rise of the drive in the photo? 3/4". I couldn't pick the bike up off the side stand due to that extra height! I am long legged but even I was tippy-toe at the lights. I HAD to push it to level ground to get on it and to get it upright to ride away. How do they go on on some sandy hillside?
Ugly: The instrument cluster is ugly and chaotic. Looks like Rainer's plastic bedside alarm clock. (Sorry Rainer...time for a new one eh?) The switchgear is infamous for it's odd layout. I guess one gets used to it so no biggy but the supposed self-cancelling indicators never once self cancelled. I never did get used to the odd lift of the front end as one departs the scene in an unhurried fashion (after the R1 this boat is not wickedly quick - trust me). The motor was slightly harsh above 5000rpm and the sideways shaking at tickover was odd but I suppose it's all a part of "the BMW experience". Acceleration to switch lanes in traffic to survive mobile-phone using SUV drivers and grannies was feeble. But again, the R1 has spoiled me rotten and saved my neck many times. I am a BIG believer in fast, furious acceleration potential. Don't always use it but have it on tap.
Overall: Too big and lardy for my tastes. The KTM felt light and nimble by comparison and has a much nicer engine/gearbox/clutch/controls and instruments. The BMW's only great asset seemed to be comfort of the posterior and that can be fixed on almost any bike for 30 quid or so. ($60)
Want to Try Before I Buy: BMW F800GS, KTM 990 Duke, KTM RC8 and the Kawasaki KLR650. Stay posted folks!

Will this ever end?

2008-07-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Probably not.

I am planning a DesignR1 Full Circle UK/Ireland tour in the near future. There are interviews and articles about this ride to get done and I am certain that I will revisit many of the people and places I saw on this Full Circle USA tour. So....

I will from time to time place photos and updates on things. After all, this blog is now a familiar place for me.

I returned to LA to visit Richard Clark and Rak at Mediaworld logistics on Arbor Vitae near LAX airport. I met Richard at The Wheelie School just north of London. It snowed that morning so we were generously offered another go by Paul the owner/trainer. Richard, like myself, has a UK and USA business and curiously I just learned on this visit that they use ACT! software. We are hoping to do some dirt biking together here in California. He has experience, I have never ridden off-road so perhaps I'll get back to Phoenix and chat with T.E.A.M. Arizona riding school about a little training in that sport. What the heck, I haven't broken a bone in over 3 years!

Thanks to all who followed the ride and I wish you a prosperous, happy future. Don't forget the kids.

Some Statistics and many thanks

2008-07-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

I must thank Jacqueline Zimmermann an ACC in Riverside California who has been a great support throughout the whole tour. Jax has handled phone calls, made appointments, visited camps, ridden in some of the toughest conditions and all in support of me, this tour and the children who benefit. She is an extremely capable ACT! consultant and a wonderful person. Thanks a million Jax.

I also want to say a huge thanks to Bob and Dan Ogden of Swiftpage for their sponsorship and featuring my tour on their exhibition stand in Washington DC. I use Swiftpage and they are the most helpful company one can imagine. Thanks again guys.

Miles = 15,004.5

33 States, 4 Provinces, Mexico

2 Speeding tickets

6 Hole in the Wall camps visited

22 different donators listed (so far) $2,175 raised

14 weeks +1 day = 99 days

Approx 350 gallons of fuel, I oil change + ¼ litre of oil

Best Fuel = 52.3mpg (USA) =62.8mpg (UK) = 4.5L per 100Km

2 rear tyres, 1 front tyre

1 chain and sprockets

75 nights in motels

15lbs lost

Top speed = 189mph indicated

Full Circle comes full circle

2008-07-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Tuesday July 22nd The final day. I had agreed to meet the Sage folks about noon to pop some bubbly and celebrate the DesignR1 Full Circle USA charity ride. Before that official ending I wanted to see the newest stretch of Phoenix road. The Loop 202 had only opened on Monday and I was keen to see the desert views on the east side of town. It was a smooth, quick and easy ride as I headed east, swung south then west and scooted up the I10 and 101 to Scottsdale and the original starting point. I arrived at 12:15pm on Tuesday July 22nd 2008 with exactly 15,004.5 miles on the clock. I saw a huge clock/temp gauge that read 110 degrees at 11:30am on my ride. At Sage it was much hotter. Believe me.
I went inside where Ryan Zuk, media contact for Sage, found me wandering like a lost soul. He grabbed an office and brought me water as David van Toor walked in to shake my hand. David is SVP, General Manager CRM Solutions at Sage Software and he is the man that made my journey possible. Without the support of Sage I wonder how far I would have ridden. He teased me about being able to stand upright and then we had a brief conference call with reporter Jane Larson at The Arizona Republic newspaper. I’ll be visiting Jane next week for an interview and to go over photos from the trip. Ryan also informed me that the Scottsdale based photographer Jean-Louis Husson (www.feathertech.com) was planning to have me do his Black Chair interview for the Scottsdale Airpark News business magazine. I felt very privileged and we arranged to visit Jean-Louis the next day to plan the article. Jean-Louis has the finest French accent (it really makes English sound exotic) and his Black Chair interviews are done for charitable causes. His artwork (which inspired his website name) is amazing for its crisp ingenuity and detailed finesse. His immaculate studio reminded me of my dreamy art school days when I would have died for such a place to work.
After a tasty, pasta lunch with Alex and Ryan I popped some undrinkable cheap bubbly and threatened the others with it in plastic USA flag tumblers. The flag tumblers were to tease Garrett Fulton mending in Minnesota. Debbie Cates, Senior Director of Strategic Marketing, Alex Taylor, ACT! National Channel Manager, Jeff Gregorec, Vice President of Sales for SageCRM North America, and yours truly gagged on the awful jungle juice and posed for Ryan as he snapped away with my camera.
Thank goodness I have so many follow-up jobs from the trip or I would wander the halls in a stupor. I just expect to swing a leg over “old faithful” and ride on forever. Never mind…my business partner Rainer will find a never-ending supply of work for me…it’s his special talent.
I would like to thank my business partners Rainer Hoffmueller (CEO) and Mark Hammer (Worldwide Technical Director) for their patience and support. I want to thank all the DesignR1 team too. Larissa Urutia and her sister Gwendolin, Cindy Sturdevant, Michael Kadlub in Cleveland (that bad boy always teases me), Greg Ferber and Kevin Ryan our super programmers in Salem OR and James Burlew our friendly tech support man in world famous Sutherlin OR. I also hope that the awareness raised about Sage and ACT! will, directly or indirectly, bring work to all the skilled ACCs and in particular to all those ACCs that showed such kindness and enthusiasm and support. And, of course, the biggest thanks to all the thousands of workers at Hole in the Wall Gang camps and offices and to all of you that donated towards the children. Any suggestions for lunacy on a bike will be considered with all seriousness by me for next year’s ride.

Camp Soaring Eagle in Sedona AZ

2008-07-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Monday July 21. An early start on coffee and leftover spaghetti bolognaise is not ideal but who cares at this point in the journey. The end was very much in sight with all the mixed feelings that ending could conjure. We had arranged to meet the Camp Soaring Eagle builder, Mark Morris, at 9am, at a scenic overlook on Hwy 89A called Oak Creek Canyon Vista. As I looked at all the pine trees I doubted the romantic name. Wrong again Kingstone. There really were oak trees in the canyon and the views are spectacular. What a beautiful place this part of Arizona is. Sedona is deservedly famous for its beauty and as Mark led the way on his Yamaha Star 1100 cruiser through the twists and turns downhill I actually felt that this area may very well be the prettiest place in the whole of the USA. 21/2 hours ride from my office and I had never seen it! What a duffer I am! I’ll be riding here again and that’s a promise. We took Hwy 179 through the huge road works in Sedona and to my joy I noted that roundabouts are proving ever more popular. Great for motorcycles, far smoother and more traffic friendly than those horrid 4-way stops, roundabouts also allow for many roads to converge without chaos and queues. The R1 is OK in roundabouts but I wished I was on the KTM 990 Adventure I had test ridden from Bernies in Mesa AZ. Now THAT bike is FUN in roundabouts! Just a note, Sedona is an artist town and apparently McDonalds have turquoise arches here to fit the local traditional colour schemes!
We arrived to a warm welcome from the staff at Camp Soaring Eagle, the latest camp to join the Hole in the Wall Gang organization and in my opinion the camp with the most spectacular setting of all with its huge red bluffs and rock formations. I kept looking for Indian smoke signals from the top of the cliffs! Jennifer Perry, Rick James, Pronto Parenteau, Mark Morris and Juan Morales, Director of Facilities, happily listened to my stories and gave me my medicine… coffee. Rick James is the son of the founder Max James and is the Director of Community Outreach. He and Pronto, the Camp Director, drove me around the site and explained the plans and designs. A lot of experience and thought has been poured into this camp and both parents and children will see the benefits of considering all their needs and desires, not just their medical needs. I liked the sound of the entranceway with 60 foot bluffs to imitate the entrance to the original Hole in the Wall and the feeling that here they could leave all their cares and fears behind and enter a world of safety and seclusion. I want to visit again in a few months to see the progress. All our best wishes and serious praise to the James family for using their business success to the benefit of children less fortunate. The millions of dollars they are spending to bring joy and health benefits to these kids is an example to all. Boy do I wish I could have raised more money.
After an hour or so we dashed off to Phoenix airport and the more familiar hot, flat, raked-gravel landscape I have come to view as home away from home. Tomorrow was the conclusion of my tour and I wanted to do a ride around Phoenix to finish off since I had not done so at the start.

A pretty big hole I'd say...

2008-07-24T14:39:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Sunday July 20th. The ride up to the Grand Canyon was very pretty and Jax urged me on to ever greater speeds on this empty road. Honestly officer, it was all her fault! I was pretty shocked as she usually puts some strict controls on my distance and speed but I guess she was seeing why sports bikes exist: to cure all known illnesses! Wahoooo. We paid our $12.00 each (why don’t bikes get better prices since we take up less room?) and pulled over to chat to some Harley riders queued up at the side of the road just past the pay cabin. They were from Austria so I got to chat to them in German. The poor guy could not work out how a Canadian/Brit in America could speak Bavarian-German with an English accent using Austrian Zillertal slang. All of a sudden a park ranger patrol truck stopped in the other lane (blocking all traffic behind him), and yelled through a loudspeaker “All bikers return to your bikes immediately”. What? Was he mad? An Austrian chap walked over and, sounding like Arnold Schwarzeneger, asked what the problem was. We were not impeding anyone. The Ranger told him “You are committing an offence by walking over here”. Baffled the Austrian returned to us and passing comments about never allowing any American male to have a badge we all rode off. I managed to slip the leader my card and hope to hear from him soon. They were very experienced travelers.
What can one say about the Grand Canyon? It is awesome and I do not use that word like your average USA teen. It is so overwhelmingly grand that after an hour or so one is ‘awed-out’…
We saw a cute little squirrel eating pine nuts and Kleenex tissues! We guessed it was preparing a nest. How tasty can a used Kleenex be? Better than Cheerios I suppose. As rain threatened yet again we decided to head out for Flagstaff. It’s funny how the memory plays tricks on you. I remembered seeing Hwy180 east signposted to Flagstaff very close to the Grand Canyon entrance and well north of Williams. But riding back south towards Williams it seemed forever until we got to the Flagstaff turn off. At that junction I topped up the R1, looked askance at the lowering sky and hit the throttle hard towards Flagstaff. We did get wet again. And cold. But that run was very good fun! The first motel with a Jacuzzi got our vote and it was very conveniently situated for eating and getting off to Sedona the next morning. After thawing out in the spa (and laughing at this cute little boy dive-bombing his siblings in the pool) we found an Olive Garden to eat. Well, we actually found a freezer masquerading as a place for people to sit and eat until the icicles on their arms prevented the lifting of cutlery. Americans seem immune to this phenomenon. My guess is that a restaurant has 15 seconds to trap its customers (much like a stand at an exhibition) so the sudden effects of super cool temperatures after the blazing heat makes them quickly decide in favour of that place out of blessed relief. 15 minutes later they are frozen to their chairs and going nowhere until they pay up. The manager explained that they have no control over the heating/cooling. The food was great and the staff tried so hard to please us at a busy time. I guess that’s what one wants…that and non-arctic temperatures.
Now my real rant begins. My rant at Flagstaff. This town is NOT pretty. Railroad meets loggers meets cowboys. No chance. Pity, because the town is set in a wonderful place with lovely forests, skiing in winter, and spectacular settings close by. At 11:20pm, just as sleep was essential, they started. The jack-hammers outside the motel. I asked them what the deal was as the whole blasted street was motels and there were people pouring out of their rooms in disbelief. Out-of-town contractors. Town Hall instructions to drill and hammer all night because there was too much traffic in the day. But the road would still be coned off next morning so why bother at night? There is a serious shortage of brains at Flagstaff’s City Hall obviously. A different room helped ease the pain. I chalked it all up to a minor “adventure” and a good excuse for another rant about humans being the worst thing to happen to earth. I’m such a pleasant fellow…

Blowing hot and cold

2008-07-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

It was 118 degrees when we left the motel in Parker. The R1 was pretty close to overheating whilst we waited for traffic lights to change and my right leg was getting well toasted unless a cross wind blew the heat onto my left leg! The ride up Hwy 95 to Lake Havasu was beautiful and I finally understood why I see more boats being towed by pick-ups in the middle of the desert than any sea-side resort! The river was stunning and it looks like a great place to enjoy water, sun and hot temperatures. Lake Havasu City was only founded in 1964 and apparently the McCullock chainsaw guy bought London Bridge unseen in a hurry. It seems he was disappointed as he thought he'd bought Tower Bridge or something. Anyway, there it stands doing good service in this town for a lot of boaters and holiday people. We had a bite to eat as the friendly waiter told us the story. We headed north again to the I40 and on to Kingman. We were fuelling up in Kingman and I saw a well-clad biker roll in on a Buell 1125. I’ve sat on one at the motorcycle show in Phoenix last October but I’ve yet to see one bought and running on the road. Unfortunately the all new Buell got bad press for its fuel injection glitches when it first appeared. Erik Buell is a very innovative engineer (example: the petrol is stored in the aluminium frame) and his new Austrian built Rotax V-Twin engine was a radical departure from the Harley norm. I spoke to the rider (an audio engineer from Hollywood also named Eric) for his impressions. He LOVES it! He did mention allowing time when starting up to let the electronics “do their thing” and then it was fine. The handling should be awesome as that is a strong trait of Buell bikes. We said our goodbyes and headed towards Williams where we planned to stop for the night. As we rode to ever higher elevations a huge black cloud loomed ahead. We got soaked. The temperature dropped 40 degrees in 2 minutes! We were in the middle of nowhere with no shelter, no turn-offs, nothing! By the time we got to a petrol stop it had stopped and we were blue with cold. From one extreme to another! There was nothing for it but to slog the last 20 miles to Williams and find a warm hotel. Once that was done we enjoyed cruising the streets of this cute town and had the BEST ribs in the world at the Route 66 restaurant. Live music made for a pleasant end to the 216.8 mile day. Tomorrow: the Grand Canyon!

Some Like It Hot...

2008-07-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

We left Chula Vista and trundled along to Hwy54 east to Hwy125 to the I8 east to Yuma AZ. WOW WOW WOW! When I was planning this trip I guess I had never skipped over a section of the map as quickly as I had the I8 from San Diego to El Centro and Yuma. Why? Because I had ridden the I1o parallel to I8 from Phoenix to LA and quite frankly if you enjoy chewing tin foil or following Winnebagos with 85 year old drivers on turned-down pace-makers then take your zimmer-frame and walk that motorway. To assume that this would be the same was a mistake. The rock formations and scenery from this I8 road are unrepeatable must-sees. The heat HAS to be experienced in its own right from a crotch-rocket in full leathers with a pillion. Simply insert your head into your microwave and set on full for 90 minutes. Enjoy. How on earth Jax survived is beyond human comprehension. Me? I'm a duffer imune to all hardships bar mosquitos! Was it worth it? I would die before I forgo that ride. Regrets? Not stopping for photos every 2 minutes! We had a good burger at La Posta where an off-road biker confirmed Jay's suggestion that Tecate was a better border crossing, arrived in El Centro for fuel, a cool drink and friendly service and set our heat-blistered horizons for Yuma AZ. We stopped part way for water and I snapped the Sahara style sand dunes. Some trucker sought shade under a tree. If you can imagine a traffic jam of SUVs on Mercury drive to Yuma. The surface temperature on the side of Mercury closest to the Sun reaches 427 degrees celsius, a temperature hot enough to melt tin (Ha! Nothing to my leathers!). We cooled off in some fast-food joint in Yuma and set off again to ride two-lane Hwy 95 the 81 miles through flat, hot desert to Quartzsite. More fuel, a spectacular sunset and bone weary we set off for the last 35 mile ride in the dark to Parker. At a cheap motel we sank into a swimming pool and stared at a huge full moon. We didn't make it to Lake Havasu and London Bridge so that would be Saturday's ride.

Speedy Gonzales...

2008-07-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 17th was as hot and sunny as usual in SoCal. One is NEVER allowed to be blue. One must ALWAYS grin and flex ones perfectly honed muscles built on some Flexerciser and display perfect teeth as one displays boundless energy derived from some product sold out of "Golden Glow". Blow that for a lark. I was desperate to wake up with a slight hangover from a screaming good night at the pub and see a bit of drizzle soaking the shoppers in anoraks... ding...rant over.

It was a rush to leave the Riverside base-camp and with just 10 minutes to leave Jacqueline decided she wanted to come and see Havasu and the Grand Canyon too. Within 10 minutes she had reorganised things and grabbed a few clothes and was ready for the off. What a whizz-kid.

We made good time down to Irvine and rolled onto the pavement outside the Sage offices just minutes before Greg Goldstein rolled up on his super-duper, mile-munching, crowd-killer Kawasaki 1400cc Concord. Fully kitted, this is the machine a SENSIBLE biker would do 15,000 miles on around the States. Good thing I'm not sensible.

We ogled Chad Gardner's chromed and flamed Harley. I think Chad has done a very tasteful job on this bike and the throw-back acknowledgement to the great hot-rods of America (I love those hot-rods) is excellent. How fitting that a PT Cruiser slid past as I snapped a pic!

As we lined up for photos two Sage chaps joined us with their bikes. Vimal Reynolds has the Suzuki Gixxer 750 (ultimate sportsbike choice?) and Jason Whittaker the superb handling Suzuki SV650. Linda Brizendine came past as did other Sage staff and all wished us well. Chad and Greg talked shop and we hit the road for San Diego. Greg popped a beautiful power wheelie on the on-ramp to the I5 and I could hear that big bike's power. Of course I was going to wheelie too but Jax would have ended on the tarmac...

Just as Greg had told me, just 10 miles down the road as we neared the coast the air temp dropped about 10 degrees and it was very pleasant. We rode briskly (ahem) and were soon enjoying some really good mexican food in La Jolla. After lunch we sat on Greg's bike and man that thing is a home away from home! Thanks for the support Greg. We'll ride again.

We hit the Mexican border soon after and in the chaos and traffic I missed Jax urgent signals to take the last-chance u-turn. Into Mexico we went against everyone's good advice. The Mexican border guard was helpful and we entered Tijuana for 5 minutes. Our hurried snapshots at the queue do not reflect the 1.2 miles we rode to get to this Mardi Gras scene! WOW! The roads are terrible, the signposting worse, the chaos absolute and the vehicles decidedly dodgy looking. We scooted back to the border past endless queues of waiting cars. A not-terribly-pleased official of the USA (Jax had no passport as we had agreed NOT to enter Mexico...I plead a single brain cell) begrudgingly let us in "this time"... as if I'll ever do that again!!!!

We looked at the border motels but Jax was not comfortable at the scene (clueless here would have stayed in a bark-roofed adobe hut and been oblivious to street gangs!) so we whipped a little further away from the border and found a delightfully clean hotel up in Chula Vista. Thanks Jax! Your street-smart was invaluable! Tomorrow we were set for London England...

Hollywood, Wed July 16th

2008-07-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

If there is no rest for the wicked then I must be a very bad boy. Between emails, visits, phone calls and planning I never really rested on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday! In fact it was a rush to make the 6:30pm meeting with ACC Michael Moldofsky (http://www.activesales.net/WhoWeAre.html) to see Hollywood. Michael has been around this famous town long enough to give a good tour. Some serious driving in his BMW made the evening really great and the English fare at the Cat & Fiddle capped off the sights. I'm sorry but Hollywood, it seems to me, is seriously short on glamour. It has an atmosphere for sure but too much of it is of the shabby bad-taste strip-mall junky neon busted pavement ilk. Where Michael resides along the cafe strip on Melrose was great however! We snuck up some twisty hillside with very chic houses covering many eras of "in" and snapped a few pics of the Hollywood sign. I have made a suggested improvement in my photo above. Then we rushed around the streets past the star-studded pavement (apparently Michael Cane was stomping concrete that day), Pirates (presumably from the Caribbean) and Marilyn Monroe non-look-alikes. We saw, as Michael put it, "the good the bad and the ugly" until dark drove us back onto Hollywood freeway and Hwy 60 back to Riverside. It was a great treat so thanks a million Michael!

At 11:30pm that Hwy 60 was packed! I could hardly believe it. I thought I was on the flippin' M25 on a British bank holiday! Home late and I had to be off in the morning to meet the boys at Sage in Irvine for the last leg of my Full Circle tour. To add to my joys, I had a wasp hit my chest at about 45mph whilst riding back from Lake Hughes and it wasn't fast enough to kill it so the little blighter got 3 or 4 stings into me before the wind took him away. By Wednesday night I had a red patch the size of a saucer and a hard white patch where I was stung so many times and the itch was unbearable. See why riding slowly and carefully is dangerous! Speeding is the only safe way to ride...trust me.

Tuesday at Painted Turtle Camp

2008-07-16T16:32:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Sunday and Monday I was emailing and planning to set sail again for San Diego and beyond when I got word that the Hole in the Wall Gang camp up in Lake Hughes CA could receive me on Tuesday. It was a 200 mile, hot round trip and I was suffering one of my low-energy days so I want to apologise to the camp Director Jeremy for my slow wits and apparent low level of enthusiasm. Jeremy, his assistant April and Scott, who studied acting at the Globe Theatre in London amongst other places, showed me around and made sure I was braced with cold drink for the hot ride home. There are fine facilities to care for the kids and the basketball gymn donated by the Lakers was very impressive. One little touch I thought was very kind can be seen in the photo of the bedroom. Those traditional quilts are donated and then given to the visiting child as a memento of their week and their new-found friends. That is a lot of money and hard work and it just goes to show how many kind souls there really are in this world. Well done folks.

I also visited the Harley's Rock Inn as suggested by Robert Mersky and I spotted the old pick-up in the shade. I'll get one like that one day. The rock formations as you leave I15 onto Hwy 138 are amazing if quite small. I believe they are called the Mormon Rocks. I liked the frog one. The old collapsing cabin and the rusted western windmills seemed to epitomise the old west in many ways.

That evening we ate Thai in Riverside. Good food but BAD thai telly shows! Wednesday will be Hollywood photos.

Saturday at the races!

2008-07-16T16:00:00.001-07:00

Words and photos by JK

I had an invitation from ACCs Chris and Michelle Horn of Bullfrog Solutions in Pasadena to visit when in California(http://www.bullfrogsolutions.com/). Chris called me to say that he was racing his Datsun 240Z at Fontana Raceway, just 15 miles north of here, on Saturday 12th July. He said for $20 I could try out the track on my R1!!!! Off we went for a hot day's enthrallment with older racing cars of all sorts. I reckoned I had owned half the cars present from Alfa Romeo to Porsche 911s through Minis and Midgets to Volvo. Unfortunately a racing incident had cancelled the track try-out but it was still great to see Chris Horn take pole position and go on to take the 4th place he predicted. His brakes and tyres were not really up to holding first place (how he managed a 4th looked a miracle to me) and he was planning to fit those items new for Sunday's race. Well, he did, and was moving into second place on Sunday when a rear stub axle broke. Bummer! But "that's racing" as Chris commented. I met many interesting people like Frank Hanrahan (how Irish is that?) and his orange 911, and Greg Helms and his stunning AC Cobra #99 who did amazingly well in his first race. I loved the immaculate Volvo from that old Roger Moore TV show 'The Saint' and the little Minis were so cute. I had a '64 red mini on rubber cone suspension that went round corners like a go-kart tethered to a centre-pin! Loved it! I planned to play a little catch-up on Sunday...both work and rest!

Friday July 11th, Magic Castle Hollywood

2008-07-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

I am not a techie. The very thought of giving detailed explanations of how our ACT! add-on products work can rattle me ever so slightly. OK a lot. We arrived at Magic Castle for a luncheon with ACT! users a tad late due to the congestion on HWY 101 but they were not quite ready to go so my demo of Outlook IntegrateR1 and speech about my tour were still on. I parked beside the valet's stunning black Kawasaki ZX6R.

Victoria Marechal and Daniel Graves had organised the event. The ACCs present were Victoria (www.CRM-IT.net), Daniel Graves (http://www.database-la.com), and the ever helpful biker-boy and walking map of California Jay Hudson (www.actprogramming.com), Jacqueline Zimmermann (jax@acttechnology.com) and your's truly (www.designr1.com).

The ACT! users were Ira Goldstein, Richard Freeman EVP Sierra Group who also does magic, Lynda Malerstein of Power Journeys Hypnosis, Erin Kayser of Willis Insurance Services,Julie Brown a manager at KYDS (Keep Youth Doing Something), Gordon Peay a Wellness Consultant and Lynne N. Roach of Integrity wealth management.

I demonstrated all the great things that our Outlook IntegrateR1 can do (like create an activity from an incoming email) and spoke of my tour until I got a gentle kick in the ribs to end it and sit down. I may have caused some consternation with one or two Brit expressions (I have put a Proper English page on our website for fun and to explain to American's what I mean by plonker, duffer, knackered etc). I held a 4 question quiz about motorbikes to win a free copy of OIR1 and Erin won that. The responses were all very close. Here, try your luck. I think the questions are easy...

Motorcycle Knowledge Quiz
1. Which American motorcycle is famous for it’s V-Twin engine?
2. What motorcycle is James Kingstone riding around the USA for The Hole in the Wall Gang Charity?
3. Which Italian motorcycle uses a Desmodromic valve operation?
4. What famous motorcycle comes from Bavaria?

We snapped a few pics and headed back after a nice lunch. Traffic was solid so we took a longer but quicker route to Riverside. Saturday was set to be a great day of fun for me!

Thursday 10th July. LA visits

2008-07-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Thursday we rode to the Sage offices in Irvine California. It was hot and sunny as usual and, although not exactly warned well in advance, everyone was very accommodating. It began with a call to Mike Morper Senior Director of Product Development and Dennis Frahmann the EVP Marketing for BMD (Business Management Division). Irvine boasts a lot of very large corporate headquarters. Life’s hard for these folks with the beach about 10 minutes away and the mountains about an hour east. Permanent sunshine really makes life suck too. Sage has 2 large, white, clean office blocks here on Technology Drive. Appropriate street name. But my favourite Sage offices are still Newcastle-on-Tyne in England and Beaverton OR USA. Like the St. Petersburg FL offices, ducks quack in a pond out front. I caught a mother with her duckling enjoying the sun and the sound of motorway trucks…
So many friendly staff made the effort to break away from meetings and phone calls to come down and say hello.
Mike Morper snapped photos and made sure we had a super-friendly welcome. Jax rolled around on the pavement as stand-in for photographer Garrett. Easier to smile at the camera but Garrett knew his stuff!
Nina Smith, President of Business Management Division just HAD to sit on that R1. Nina, I know you want a fast ride and a wheelie… I am pointing out her special 'executive-style' motorcycle boots.
Chad Gardner Vice President, Corporate Controller (of purple folder fame) has a custom Harley and will bring it in for photos on Thursday 17th although he may be too busy to ride out with me towards San Diego.
Michael Pham a Senior Paralegal and Dennis Frahmann made it down and even Linda Brizendine the Assistant to Sue Swenson President & CEO made the time. She looks comfortable on that fast bike in the photo I think!
Thanks to everyone at Sage in Irvine CA for the support.
On to Z Custom Leathers at their new offices in Santa Ana. Adolph and Diane (from England!) are great and their experience spans years in the motorcycle racing field. I discussed the baggy bum of my leathers (I lost weight on this ride) and some repair work to my tatty boots. I’ll come back after the tour and get these things done. All the best Z!
We finished the day with a visit to Robert Mersky. Robert is an experienced ACC in Anaheim with a nice line in dry humour and ‘fake-grumpy-old-man’ that cracks me up. We had a bite to eat and headed home. I was getting nervous about a presentation in Hollywood the next day and a date to visit the camp for kids.

Death Valley has nothing on this ride!

2008-07-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

Monday was hot and sunny as we pulled out of Monterey. To make up for lost time we headed past the little airport, scooted past the famous Laguna Seca Raceway (fabulous motorcycle racing at this place including MotoGP) and in Salinas we took Hwy 101 south to Paso Roblas. As we swung east on Hwy 46 the sign said NO SERVICES FOR 50 MILES. Try 65. Burning heat is a cute little slogan for the conditions on this brown, barren, boring and burning ride. More like a solar flare up your shorts and a hot potato mashed in your t-shirt! We hit the I5 junction and I threw water all over me at the petrol station. Then we braved the I5 south towards LA, past the Lake Hughes turn-off for the Hole in the Wall Gang Painted Turtle Camp, to the 210 east to San Bernardino then south to Riverside and cool rest. Much of this ride was in rush hour. I kept one eye on the tarmac for ripples, one eye on the traffic all around, one eye on the verges for cops, one eye on Jax for signs of fainting and my remaining eyeballs on the speedo, fuel, oil and temp gauges. Pain was the overall memory from this 381 mile non-stop blast. I slept 10 hours.

Tuesday was a day off to work.

Wednesday Jax and I worked and then enjoyed a very tasty, and somewhat exotic, meal at Mario's in Riverside opposite the old mission styled hotel built in 1910. I learned a new treat for salads here that I plan to try on guests when I'm back home in England (200 years from now!)

New friends to the rescue...

2008-07-12T23:49:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK
Thur. July 3rd 2008: Like two naughty boys we had stayed up very late laughing our heads off. Garrett was imitating some of his local yokels in a funny American accent that had me laughing until I ached. I wrote my blog, eventually, and at 2am I turned in. So… I overslept. As I grabbed a coffee I heard a lady refer to her morning cup of tea and ended up meeting a couple that were from England but now lived in California. We swopped stories, since her husband owned a Honda VFR (good choice dude), and they rode many miles together. The sun is shining and we are OK to make Pleasanton by 1:30pm. We are going to spend a few days with an ACC called Dinah Thompson and I am looking forward to hearing about her recent trip in the UK. As soon as we get fuel, and more coffee for me, we are set to go through the best scenery a biker can find. Wahooo.

I left these words as I had written them. Within an hour the day was wrecked with one busted collarbone and one splintered ZXR636. I am always criticized for rejecting admonition to BE CAREFUL! Why? Because it doesn't work. Garrett and I had just agreed to take it nice and steady and CAREFULLY through these extreme corners. As I gently rolled through a tight downhill/uphill right-hander at the recommended 15mph I heard a bang. I looked in my mirror and saw Garrett low-siding at a very slow speed. The big right-hand exhaust can causes one to tip over instead of gently slide to the tarmac. He never even grazed his knuckles! The bike slid on a shiney tar patch (see photo of the spot) and once away from Garrett the headlight was crunched by a Jeep in the other lane. The chap in that Jeep was Andrew Brennan, an EMT, and fully equipped to assist in such an accident. Andrew is a scuba diver http://www.pyratescuba.com/ and was so professional and friendly one would never know his car was busted up too! Emergency people arrived (one wag said they'd be happy for the action!) and everyone was helpful and kind. Bronwyn and Evan of the ambulance crew were ever so kind and experienced. Thanks a million! I followed the ambulance as it drove from this remote place, with the best sea views on the planet bar none, along that writhing road to arrive 1 1/2 hours later at Santa Rosa Hospital. Garrett was zapped with rays, stuck with needles, drained of blood, strapped up and finally told to clear off home with a sling and some pain killers. I was surprised to learn that apparently there are actually not many motorcycle accidents along that road in spite of the terrain. Garrett joins the battle-scarred elite. I knew exactly what had caused his injury and I would recommend all motorcycles have underseat or stubby low exhausts in future.

In the meantime, Jax had arranged for us all to stay with Dinah Thompson, an ACC in Danville CA http://www.sierrafg.com/, and I was on the mobile to Dinah as Garrett and I had a small meal and a coffee at the hospital cafeteria. I cannot express the enormous gratitude we owe to Dinah and her husband Jim. Dinah cheerfully drove all the way to Oakland airport and picked up Jax, then all the way to Santa Rosa through 4th of July traffic to pick up Garrett and his gear, and led the way back to their gorgeous home. That lady can drive! I have never been so impressed and I have driven millions of miles on many continents and I am on my 110th car and 13th motorcycle. I have followed hundreds of people. She was fast, decisive, clear to indicate, worked as a team leader and I never had a moments hesitation for over an hour in the dark through busy California traffic around San Francisco. The pounding I got from the roads was another matter! Dinah and Jim settled us all in and spoiled us rotten until Jax and I had to leave on Saturday for urgent business she had in Riverside. Dinah also ran Garrett to the airport at 7am for his flight home on the Sunday morning! Geico will see to the bike and Jeep.

On the Friday Dinah cooked about 200lbs of Chippotle pork and made a salad with the world's BEST dressing. I'm getting the recipe. Eat yer hearts out. Time to unwind in the pool and jacuzzi was appreciated and then actor John Lang came by. John is an ACC as well as an actor http://www.johnhale.net/. John took Jax and I to meet his daughter Rebecca and to watch the fire works at a local park. Rebecca was singing in the car for just a few moments and what a lovely voice she has! Another one for the stage? Check out the size of her cat! Jim Thompson is a fascinating and experienced businessman and I want to find a less hectic time to hear his stories. I know he helped Garrett forget his pain with his photos, travels, and anecdotes. Dinah is an energy source. She was so cheerful and lively and organised and relentlessly geared for hospitality and ease that when Jax spotted the little Duracell bunny toy she bought it for Dinah on the spot. We think Duracell should use Dinah instead of the bunny! Dinah is also a SageCRM consultant and her superbly equipped office reflects her organisational skills. The friendship and kindess she displayed to Garrett and I as strangers is beyond words. We owe you sweetheart!

Saturday afternoon saw Jax and I off to Monterey. It was surprisingly cold on the coast after super-warm Danville/Pleasanton and I was disappointed to miss meeting the staff at the Sage offices in Pleasanton, especially Deborah who was so interested in our trip and Garrett's well-being. So I wasn't in the greatest mood to visit Monterey. The Sunday morning drizzle that descended also blotted out much of Carmel (a lovely little town on the beach) as I rode out for fuel and to ascertain the passability of Hwy 1 through the world-renowned Big Sur. It was closed due to the awful fires. We were forced to wait another day as I had left my waterproofs to be shipped to Riverside. I confess that things swirled through my brain as my tour plans were knocked about and I had lost my riding buddy. Get well soon Garrett. Thanks for the photos, the fun, the philosophy and the friendship along those 4000 miles.

The Hills are on Fire

2008-07-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton

This blog title might sound like the name of a great Heavy Metal song by Iron Maiden, but its not. Entering into California, it was unmistakable how smoke laden the mountains were from the thousand fires which were still raging throughout the state. You could smell it, see it and nearly taste it as it hung low in the valleys all around. The ride was long, but breathtaking with nearly 12 hours actually in the saddle that day. We wound our way through forgotten valleys, devoid of all the plastic signs and trappings of American capitalism since the sparse population couldn't support it. Endless twisting roads and hairpin turns had me thoroughly worn out after the days travel. Judging by the houses we saw and the people we encountered, it seemed to me to be the dying remnants of the hippies, who had settled north in an area of nature and timeless existence. It seemed detached to me from western vices where a rocking chair, a porch and a jug of moonshine could while away endless days in warm sunshine. The previous day we found ourselves traveling amongst the giant sentinels of northern California, namely the vast forests of ancient Redwoods. It was as if we had suddenly been transported to some forgotten Jurassic age where everything was large and dangerous. The towering trees were so ancient and enormous that I half expected dinosaurs to come crashing through the vegetation. Finally after several days we hit the coast. What appeared to be thick smoke was this time an enormous bank of fog which rolled in and ruled the land. There before us was the Pacific Ocean in all its splendor, splashing against a ragged coast of rocks and jagged outcropppings. Riding along the coast of California was some of the best scenery I have seen anywhere. I was constantly shaking my head in awed disbelief at the imposing cliffs, the majestic trees and winding roads. It was spectacular. Unfortunately, even though we had done 400 miles of twisties the day before, one hairpin turn got the best of me and my front tire slid into an oncoming car leaving me with a broken collar bone. For me, this wonderful trip came to an abrupt end as I now needed time to heal. Its been a fabulous run however, and I'll be back on my bike once again soon to some other fascinating destination. I'll leave James in charge from here on. Greetings to Debra Keipp and to Roshelle Thomas who are looking on from Point Arena. Adios everyone!...

Click on photos to enlarge

The ULTIMATE ride!

2008-07-12T22:07:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK
Wed. July 2 2008, Point Arena California, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_Arena
I had a bad night. I did manage 31/2 hours sleep but I was doubtful of my endurance this day as I loaded my saddlebags onto the bike at 6:15am. Today, after 17 hours (12 of them in the saddle) I feel I've earned a small badge for endurance. Especially as the roads we traversed were the most exacting I have encountered anywhere in the USA. Fabulous is a pathetic word to describe today’s journey. We rode from the little town of Phoenix Oregon south over the mountains to the smoke hazed valleys around Redding California then across the mountains and through giant redwood forests to the Pacific ocean and south again through freezing fog until succumbing to cold and fatigue at Point Arena. The first motel we saw had to do. Hotel California I nicknamed it. Scary. In the 444.5 miles covered today we saw deer, smelled thick smoke from forest fires as California burns, rode our tyre edges ragged and ourselves more so on the twistiest, corkscrew roads I have ever seen, nearly lost both front and back on sand and gravel strewn corners, cooked in the sun and froze in the fog and stood in awe of the coastline as dusk descended. This land of northern California is without doubt the winner of the BEST PLACE IN THE USA award.
It was chilly as we left this morning and rode over the Cascade Siskiyou mountains. I was desperate for a coffee. Getting Garrett to glance around and actually SEE anything can be a challenge (well, it appears that way from my saddle) so we had quite a few miles covered before we stopped for coffee and fuel. Garrett enjoyed his McDonald's breakfast. I live on coffee until 9pm. He then donned his iPod and thoroughly enjoyed the roads as we swung left and right for mile after focused mile. The air was rich with the aroma of burning wood. I love that smell but it broke my heart as I looked at these magnificent forests and thought of the years it will take to replace them. I know good comes from forest fires but I'd still prefer to see forests that enjoy hundreds of years unmolested. We rode the I5 south as far as Redding and for an Interstate it was a beautiful run. We found the 299 west and began our roller-coaster day. At Douglas City we took Hwy 3 southwest through Hayfork to Rio Dell on the 101 and then off on Hwy 1 at Leggett to ride the coast road. I was hanging out of the saddle and whooping in the left-handers. I noticed that in right-handers my knee turned towards the bike instead of the road. Wierd. By day's end though I was enjoying right-handers just as much. I've waited over 3 years for that to happen after I crashed on a diesel-strewn right-hand bend at Farnham Castle in Surrey. I saw a deer and warned Garrett. I saw another on the other side of the road. A few miles on I saw a mother rush across the road as her tiny fawn wobbled on little stick legs to keep up. I braked hard and Garrett shot past and then stopped ahead. I grabbed my camera as the doe ran up the hillside. I knew the fawn could not keep up and would be trained to lie still in foliage (how does a doe teach that? Can they talk?).
I found the little darling obediently lying in deep grass, quite well hidden actually, and it looked at me with the biggest Bambi eyes I have ever seen. I got 2 quick snaps and it bolted for mummy. And so we rode on, ever twisting until we silently begged for a straight piece of road to rest our limbs. I saw a church with the sign "Carry the light. Ignite the whole valley!" with a picture of some eternal flame torch. Not a great slogan to have when all the 4th of July fireworks were cancelled and 1,400 forest fires burned in that State. We reached Rio Dell and within moments we decided to take Jay Hudson's advice (Jay is an ACC and experienced rider) to ride through the Valley of the Giants. Oh my goodness but this is fantastic. It is not a forest. It is a Cathedral of living wood. Sunlight flashed through the leaves between the trunks like a stained glass backdrop to enormous, dark, Gothic pillars. The sunlight ran down a bare branch like lightning striking me on the shoulder as we swooped through this monumental ode to giant living things. It is peaceful here and awe inspiring.
By the time we reached Leggett and headed westward and south on Hwy 1 we were hoping for some easy roads and not a little perturbed at the sudden change in air temperature. We were in California in July weren’t we? Sorry, but it felt like Iceland in March. I began to shiver and tense up with cold. Garrett was struggling with fog spray on the outside of his visor and his breath fogging the inside. He rode bare-faced into the cold, wet wind. The road got even more twisty in the tightest turns I’ve seen since the Dolomites in Italy. I wished for a supermoto. But the utterly spectacular scenes before us had us mesmerized. Brilliant sunshine floodlit huge fingers of fog that grabbed the coast and lay on the land with a soggy, cold grip. Shark-fin-shaped rocks eerily grew from these fog fingers in the shallow coastal waters far below the unguarded road as waves curled into the bays to meet wide rivers. The road always dipped and corkscrewed at these river mouths. We decided to call it a day and eventually we found a place. Hardly salubrious but better than freezing fog. Just. I grabbed a hot shower to thaw out while Garrett grabbed a cold beer at some local bar to chill out. We reviewed the day and realized it was the best ride imaginable. If only we had a week to do it over and over in bite-sized chunks…

Fire, Fire, Fire...

2008-07-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

Wow! What a week! Sorry folks, I am merely posting this blog to buy some time and reassure everyone that I am alive. Between the fires on the routes I had chosen, the fiery heat of riding in summer heat-waves, and the firework-happy Fourth of July holiday my schedule is pretty messed up. I will spend a few days refixing appointments and then update things on my blog. I'm soon be back on track, on time and on the road and you'll get all the news.

Tech support comedian

2008-07-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

I needed until noon to catch up on things and we had arranged to meet our ACT! tech support chap for lunch so 3 coffees were needed to get me going. I spilled the scalding liquid on my chest as I tried to open the 45 tonne fire safety door to the stairwell. How ironic. The Safety officer gone mad causes my burns for the sake of my safety. I was lobster red when I finally pulled off the steaming T-shirt. I remarked that at this rate of "safety" all hotels will soon have triple bank-vault doors just to get into your bathroom. Garrett laughed. I made a sort of lobster squeal. We eventually found James Burlew's house after I forgot the street name and yelled through my visor that it was Umpa Lumpa Street to Garrett. He cracked up and did his Wizard of Oz Lollypop Guild imitation. Umitalla Street was very close to Umpquala Street hence the confusion in my brain cell. James does the best voice impersonations and I always ask him to do Beavis and Butthead. He does George Bush very well too. James' lovely wife Holly drove all the way up to have lunch with us. It was the best mexican food I've ever had and I pigged out. Not a good move on my part. After our goodbyes and just 125 miles I started falling asleep on the bike and this was in spectacular scenery! We pulled off at Phoenix OR and called it a day. We have enormous miles to cover tomorrow through the best scenery so it will need to be a LONG day of hard riding. San Francisco here we come!

From SAGE to Sutherlin

2008-07-01T11:30:00.001-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
The day was blocked up from top to bottom with appointments James had to make with various groups. It wasn’t a day of adventure, but a day of business.
The SAGE office in Portland was our first stop. It was an immaculate facility which by all appearances could have doubled as a surgical hospital. Out back was inviting greenery where employees could take lunch or just get out and enjoy some fresh air. A few photos and a bit of banter and we were once again on the road in haste.
Pressing on late again to the next appointment we met up with Greg and Kevin who work for DesignR1. The meeting was held in an old fashioned Americana diner the style of which every small town seems to boast. As "Caseys Hot Dog's" has the catering contract at the armory where endless events are held, they boasted scores of autographed photos on the walls from the various musical acts that performed there, from Randy Travis to Rob Zombie and everyone in between. The staff there really had great business sense and went out of the way to be accommodating and hospitable. Their success is well deserved.
Rocketing off yet again, we met up with numerous ACT! consultants at a Shari's restaurant. By now the heat of the day, road chaos and confusion had my head bobbing in my chair as struggled to keep awake. I felt bad that I couldn’t have been more animated or engaging, but the days events had tired me out. Latee was ever so kind and picked up the tab for us. We said our good-byes and hammered down the road for our final stop for the night. The scenery en route to Sutherlin was enjoyable. Doing a night run for the first time on this journey everything looked different. One forest we rode through had thick dark trees that crowded the roadside like ominous green jaws threatening to snap shut on us if we didn’t hurry through. It had an evil fairytale look about the place and I half expected out of the corner of my eye to see a flicker of clothing or a wicker basket as Hanzel and Gretel disappeared in the inky black to encounter the witch.

P.S. No I am not about to plant one on Greg Ferber's nose to Kevin's amusement! JK

Monday Monday...

2008-07-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Of course I woke up late. I am RUBBISH at getting to sleep when it's necessary. Nothing will keep me tossing and turning all night like knowing I need to be up (and resembling the living) early. Until I came to America I didn't even know there WAS a 6am. Now I have to try and contact victims to visit in a flurried, hasty, breathless phone call and then locate them on a Google map and memorize it (with my single brain cell that's a lot of stress) and then ride off and not speed. Live is sooooooo hard when you're a natural owl. How I envy those early risers that just say "Oh I need to go to slee...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Garrett went to McDonalds for breakfast whilst I sat at this laptop and mildly panicked. I managed to organize our day and rushed off to meet Garrett. We were SUPPOSED to ride west on I84 but yours truly in a blistering eye-movement of genius managed to miss just one word on the big sign. East. 11 miles later they reconfirmed we were truly going the wrong way when we had no time for such antics. We exited with me gesturing wildly in mock anger. Off we tore heading westward toward Portland for Hwy26 to Beaverton. Now at this point, be with us on our bikes. Trucks to the left of me, RVs on the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you... at Interstate 5 the road divides N and S. Beaverton? Pick a road...any road... because AFTER you choose and turn you see the sign. Hello! Why not post the signs BEFORE the junctions? Oh I get it...it's Oregon humour. Hahaha look at all the people going the wrong way...hilarious.

We reached the Sage offices that handle Timberline and some other builder's software. Gorgeous offices. I could sure suffer coming to work here! Traci Williams is the PR manager that informed the 400 employees to run for cover on short notice. The curious came to see us so Fulton took some arty-farty shots of us all. What a friendly turn-out! I had briefly met Wayne Newitts at Insights in DC but of course I couldn't recognize him as the last time we laughed together he had a huge afro wig, tinted John Lennon glasses, beads and a tie-die T-shirt. He looked better that way. Just kidding Wayne!

Outside as we began donning helmets in the heat Sean Evans approached us. Sean's older brother Pat was a factory Yamaha racer in the dangerous 70's and died at Imola. He raced such greats as Giacomo Agostini. I will find time to learn more from Sean about Pat's racing career and I'll share that with you all. Sean is quiet and modest and funny and confessed that he wisely chose not to ride as his tendency to speed and sliding the bike round corners would surely end in grief. It was a good reminder to me that it was better to arrive a bit late than not at all. I'll be in touch Sean.

Down to Salem to meet with our programmers Greg Ferber and Kevin Ryan. They look like brothers but in fact they married twin sisters and are now brothers-in-law. And they are both programmers. If you believe the thing about twins these guys are a perfect case-study!

I got myself updated on our ACT! add-on called Outlook IntegrateR1 (I am marketing, not a techie, and do remember my single brain cell) so I could explain it's wonders to a group of ACT! users when I get to California. By the way, if you use ACT! and want to try it out you can get a free trial copy from our website.

By this time we were running very late but we managed to make up the time and arrived just 15 minutes late at the restaurant to meet with 4 ACT! consultants that cover the Eugene area. Herb Syverson (www.solarducknews.com) kindly spread the word and Roy Ladenslager and Kim Winton (the database repair guru) who work with TechBenders (www.techbenders.com) and Latee Brown (www.1stinstinct.com) all turned up for a chat. Latee is a biker and he had his copy of Cycle World with him. We all compared notes about ACT! and Garrett got lost listening until we had to make tracks for Sutherlin. The Olympic trials are going on in Eugene so there are no rooms for 50 miles in all directions. We made Sutherlin by nightfall riding through beautiful scenery of mountain-sized hills, fields, farms and forests. I see why our tech support chap lives here! We grabbed a meal and I got waylayed by a local who wanted to talk so it was a late night in a very pleasant, clean motel. I couldn't believe we had managed all the locations and visits but as per usual, things tend to be bigger in your head than in reality.

104 Fahrenheit

2008-06-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Until today, whenever I thought of the Pacific North West, I had always imagined cool pine forests, frozen mountain tops and rainy port cities.I was completely caught off guard by temperatures of 104 degrees plus.
Even though an 80 mile an hour wind cools you while riding, it stillin no way compensates for a black leather jacket, a black insulated helmet,a black rubber seat, sitting on a couple hundred pounds of engine at the boiling point of water and wearing the same set of clothes for the second day in a row. It was an ishy feeling to say the least.
James wasnt looking too good after the heat and the ride. Standing in mild dilerium in the parking lot of the Motel, he unloaded the saddle bags and muttered, "I think Im going to pass out." I didnt doubt him. Having made it into the hotel, he sat on the edge of the bed,frozen in suspended animation looking like a nursing homealzheimers patient in need of help. It was as if narcolepsy had suddenly kicked in or he had died of a heart attack on the spot and was held upright by rigger mortis.He actually had me concerned for a couple of seconds, but then I remembered I had a date with a few pints of beer and was out the door.
The scenery,earlier in the day, while we wound our way through Mt.Rainier National park was worth the drive. Endless trees, winding roads, mountain peaks and the pinacal of it allwas a parting in the forest which revealed one of the worlds most glorious tickingtime bombs, Mt. Rainier.
Its all a bit dizzying, all this talk of fault lines and volcanos, whats going to blowwhats going to slide and when, but I did the best job I could of being an attentive student as my proffessor, the local bartender, educated me.
It looks as if the Juan de Fuca faultline (yes thats a real name) will decimate Oregon when it goes. It will go from Oregon to Ore-gone. There is nothing I can do about it. Icontemplated the coming disaster as I ordered another beer and burger.
Greetings to Debra Wilcox at Sidelines Sports Bar and my bar buddy J.P. from Van Couver as we go into tomorrow when Germany will decimate Spain in the European Soccer cup. "Die Fahne Hoch!!!!!!!!!....Go Germany!!!!!!!!!

(Aaaahhh not quite. JK)

Two Hot Guys

2008-06-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK
Saturday morning we packed up and Garrett wanted to ship some excess clothes and things back home so a UPS shop was on the menu. He had run out to find a post office and had a fright when he heard a big bang from his transmission. After a lot of checking and chain adjustment he concluded a stone got trapped in the primary sprocket and the chain eventually bust it with a bang. He told me about ten times so I know it had him rattled. Mind you, a major breakdown in Renton WA would have me jumping off a bridge. Talk about traffic jams! The whole Seattle area is a solid sea of metal cubes rubbing plastic ends ad infinitum. We split the lanes rather than spend two weeks riding the 10 miles to the motel. One jealous duffer in an old pick-up honked in rage. Sad man. get rid of your big gas-guzzling hunk of junk and get a bike! Nice small carbon footprint dude!

I had seen the warnings on the news. Today would be 104 degrees. With the humidity of the north-west this would be tough. 231.1 miles we managed. It was beyond hot. It was hysterical-laughter-in-desperation hot. Nevertheless we thoroughly enjoyed the ride on Hwy 169 to 410 around Mount Rainier, especially when we reached the snow and enjoyed 10 minutes of refreshing cold air. We pulled in for petrol and saw a sea of sports bikes. I grabbed a cold water as Garrett emptied the shop of cheesey-meaty snacks and sweets. I wish I'd had the sense to eat something as later I was hit very hard by the extreme heat. We chatted with the other riders and learned to our disappointment that the road to Mt St Helens was still closed. They reckoned it was snow. So we decided to just get down near Portland and headed out filled with fuel. A short way along the road I felt a small bite on my left wrist inside my glove. I rubbed the glove on my thigh and got a dozen more bites. I pulled over and as I pulled off the glove a spider fell out onto the road. My wrist was on fire and it is driving me mad with itch as I type this a day later! I ran over the little swine.

My butt was beginning to ache and we both realised that it was really the heat that hurt as opposed to a hard saddle. When you open your face shield for fresh air it's like a hair dryer in your face. I stopped for cherries by the roadside. I was beginning to flag. Once again human herding got me ticked off. I had pulled into an empty middle-of-nowhere gravel lot for petrol and the $1 cherries (a vain attempt at health - I usually follow a nutrician-free diet) and within 20 seconds 42 million wallies drove in and proceeded to fight over the petrol pumps.

We got down to Vancouver WA (nice one plonkers, that's not confusing with Vancouver BC just up the road is it?) and attempted to find a motel. Stop after stop resulted in no rooms. Olympic trials and Canadians on hols jammed things up. We stumbled across a large Yamaha dealership called Pro Caliber in Longview WA and I asked about an oil change. 12,000 miles is way beyond the recommended! A very helpful chap called Glen Hobbs told me if I came in at 10am Sunday morning they would take care of my baby. Glen used to use ACT! at his last job in sales. We got a good tip from a receptionist to flee to the Portland airport motels across the Columbia river. We finally managed to get a room and I knew I had been cooked as I lugged the saddlebags the 18 miles to the room on the 3rd floor. I nearly collapsed. A cool shower, a few glasses of water and a quick kip got my heart settled back to it's normal lethargic rate.

We decided on Sunday as a "day off" so I could work all day. I rode to pro Caliber and the mechanic not only did the oil and filter change but cleaned and adjusted the chain for free. Great service. Thank you so much guys! Oh yeah, we watched Germany lose one nil to Spain. I didn't know whom I should cheer for but we agreed Spain was far and away the better side so the best man won. I was pig sick as I read on crash.net that Valentino Rossi fell on lap one at Assen in Holland but at least Ducati won. I made phone calls to set up my visits and the day was gone. Big day tomorrow. No rest for the wicked...

Back in America

2008-06-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton

It had been roughly ten days since I had been in America but it seemed like a much longer time. The speed limit in Canada was one of the lowest I'd seen anywhere. Wheel chairs, roller skaters and old ladies with walkers were frequently pulled over and ticketed for their excesses.
The odd thing about the uniquely slow speed limit was the fact that no one seemed to obey it and no one seemed interested to enforce it. The law was like an unwanted step child that everyone ignored.
The last couple of days have shown real contrast. The scenery east of Vancouver was spectacular.Low altitude mountains bristling with pines thrust up abuptly through flat grassy swards laden with wild flowers of yellow and white with dashes of red and purple. Our road, an inky black ribbon of tarwove back and forth over a crystal blue brook like a braid of nature and technology.As I tipped left and right gently weaving around the bends, I had a motorcycle moment of zen and foundmyself calling up "Strawberry Fields" by the Beatles from memory, playing it as loud as my inner monologue could play.
Contrast that with Seattle. Im not sure where it really began, but somewhere far away from the city we began to see terrifying columns of cars streatched for miles and miles traveling in the opposite direction from us. They were frozen in a mechanical morass of "progress" and "technology".Eventually, even the lanes we soared upon began to stall and we found ourselves stopped dead, overheating in ourleathers,our bikes melting beneath us and an endless string of cars before us. Skirting the rules, we squirted through cars and trucks on a lane we created and entiteled ourselves to since we belonged to the elite classification known as "BIKERS". Many gave way, some protested, others watched inwindshield envy....but either way....we pullled ourselves out of the stagnating mechanical orgie like a phoenix fromthe Friday night asphalt ashes and wound our way to the "Quality Inn".
Earlier in the day our onward journey was christened by the Sage Patriarch of Public Relations, Rob in Vancouver.They took us in, sprinkled us with the holy water of coffee, knighted us with pizza and showed us around the emaculate new facilities.
One young employee named "Joe", whos name clearly identified him as coming from India, answered my endlessquestions about that most fascinating and chaotic land that I crave one day to revisit. Dont let the calm smile of confidence in Joes photo deceive you. Nick-named the "Tiger of Bangalore", he is to software what sharks are tokilling.
....and now,...finally,...as I write this. I am back in a real American bar. Unlike the Canadians, poluted withFrench food fornication, they dont put salad dressing on hamburgers or mayonayse on the fries or even makeIndian Somosas with Salmon. No, the Americans get it right. Real fries, real grease and real meat. Amen!Yes, its good to back in America.
Greetings to Mark Hovey and Mandy over at the Classic sports bar for cooling me down after a hot ride,and best of wishes to the German National team to win the European Soccer Cup on Sunday...well be watching and rooting. Go Germany !!!!!!!!!!!!

Atlantic to Pacific, Canada to USA

2008-06-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

We packed up for our retreat from Canada. We were due to visit the new Sage Software offices in Richmond BC and my friend Rob McKay and his wife Heather who had kindly arranged for the R1 to sneak inside for a photo-shoot. The weather was warm and sunny. I thought of the ride to Seattle, assumed it may get cool and foolishly wore 2 T-shirts. I recalled the first night at this motel when a lady called Reiko Linde enthusiastically stopped us for a chat. She has a BMW motorcycle. She spotted the Sage and ACT! logos and mentioned that she has used ACT! for years. Just 2 nights and 1 day in a hotel and it seems like weeks in one spot! I can't believe that on May 20th I was on the beach of the Atlantic and today we stood at the Pacific. I must read up on Lewis and Clark.

The reception and enthusiasm shown by all the Sage staff was fantastic. They had sent an email round to all 400 staff to come and meet us around noon in the foyer. We managed to snap a few pics but there were too many people to do it justice. I received a "goody-bag" of Sage gifts and selected a few that I fancied or found practical. Like a fresh new T-shirt! After being treated to pizza I had to drag Garrett away from his conversation with Joe about India as they had warned us about the border crossing queues.

We arrived at the border for a 45 minute wait in sweltering, humid heat at the Peace Arch. They say it is usually up to 3 hours. A very friendly young guy dispelled all my previous horrid experiences with Canadian customs officialdom. Garrett pulled over to put on his helmet and gloves in the area used to do further questioning. An older guy with the "badge attitude" came over and asked what we were doing. Duh! I tried to be friendly and just asked if today was going to build up into a nightmare for them as it was a holiday weekend. "We don't have nightmares...we get the job done!" he yelled and strutted off. Yeah, hence the hours of waiting. Good to know the old brigade is still around protecting us from the blue-rinse, Buick terrorists.

Off we rode on I5 to Seattle and saw the spactacular Mount Baker and then Mount Rainier further south. Everyone calls poor Rainer (pronounced Ryner), our CEO and founder of DesignR1, Rainier...probably because he's as tall as a mountain. I was falling asleep and missed Hwy 900 to Renton. So we ended up on the I405 east and had a devil of a job finding the motel. Mark Hammer had booked for us. We arrived after 6pm instead of the calculated 4pm and I showered and fell asleep instantly while Garrett went in search of a beer and food. I met up with Mark and caught up to date on news and gave him a few cold-weather items I no longer needed to haul around. His sister Rebecca gets married tomorrow here in Seattle. Later I was chatting on the phone in the hotel lounge with Jax and told her that Rebecca's new name would be Mathews. At that very instant her fiance walked past, stopped turned and shook my hand. What are the chances? I told him to call Mark a deadleg. Mark would know he had met me!

Today we want to ride round Mount St. Helens. It blew it's top. I need to see what road-rage can do to one's head.

Without Merritt

2008-06-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

The ride from Merritt (most expensive food on the planet?) to Vancouver was very scenic and the sunshine helped. Garrett really liked this stretch. I was rather fascinated with the "Chinese watercolour" mountains. Egg-like mounds covered in evergreens. We fuelled up in Hope, an historic jumping off point for the Klondike goldrush if my memory serves me right. (OK don't trust my memory - my single brain cell can be dodgy). Several people asked me about the charity and what ACT! software did. Again, I found that the Sage name seemed to be known. On to Abbotsford and I managed to remember the turn-off at Whatnot Road. Right up the hill, left onto Old Yale Drive and into Mountain View Village. We called it Vinyl Village because of the fake wood ship-lap siding. There is a photo of our old house. Now here's a story. Next door lived a cheerful 18 year old boy who soon made our aquaintance. I wonder whether my 3 teenage daughters were any influence? Anyway, that lad and I got on a treat and went fishing, skiing etc. About 14 years later, at a Sage event in Scottsdale AZ, I enjoy an evening with a Sage employee and I can't put my finger on why I know him. Next day it hits me. Rob McKay! The boy next door. In 30 minutes I will ride to meet Rob and the staff at the Richmond BC offices of Sage to explain my tour. Small world eh?

I spent 45 minutes cruising the streets of Abbotsford letting old memories flood back and then on to Vancouver. The grass between the lanes of the Trans-Canada Highway is no longer trimmed so no lurking cop cars. We still kept the pace sedate. Vancouver's Hasting Street was as seedy as ever (Garrett wanted to photograph all the down-and-outs) and Canada Place convention centre has great views. I love the bush planes (yet another childhood dream I had - being a Bush Pilot!) and when one came in for a landing I snapped away. We fought the horrendous traffic to Richmond and the first motel we found became our base. A day off to catch up also allowed me to visit my niece Jemma Kingstone and her mum and share a pizza. Their cute but minute toy pincer dog, Moby, seemed to take to me after I shared my pizza with this jumping-bean, rat impersonator. Bribery always works.

Today we will ride to Redmond WA where I hope we can meet up with Mark Hammer our Technical Director who is in Seattle area for a wedding.

Golden to Merritt June 24th

2008-06-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

OK I now confess to HATING HARLEYS!!!! I FINALLY got to sleep and from 7am until 10am the dozen Harley riders sat outside with those loud grumbling engines running whilst their other halves continued to apply makeup and pack enormous bags big enough to move house. Now I love the sound of the internal combustion engine. I admit that the Milwaukee 45degree V-twin is not my favourite sound (best sounding engine bar none to my ears is the Aprilia RSV Mille 60 degree V-twin) so to fill the universe with 12000Db of this ubiquitous American sound (it should be your national anthem...no costume malfunctions at Superbowl) early in the morning for hours is just plain thoughtless. I guess they think it makes them noticeable. It does that. The funny thing is that when we arrived at a motel in Merritt 271.4 miles later, the receptionist said that a couple had arrived and been in the same motel as us last night and complained about the same idiots! These are air-cooled engines. They don't need to sit and idle for hours. Must be truck drivers.

Fulton wanted to moon you all through the Mountie but he thought better of it and just smiled for the camers. We had threatening skies again. The ride over Kicking Horse pass and Roger's Pass was fabulous but a tad chilly to say the least. Our rain gear kept out the worst. We stopped for petrol at Revelstoke BC and my USA card was declined. They are paranoid about fraud. Steal my identity? Please do! Then you get my bank manager, my ex, my job...serves you right. So whilst I wait I chat to the lady and chap behind the counter. I wasn't TRYING to be funny but she was literally crying with laughter and begging me to stop. All I did was describe Vancouver...

The Sushwap was stunning. For some reason we were both photo lazy so the only shots I took were of these weird clouds at the end of the ride in Merritt. Merritt hosts a country and western festival every year. The receptionist at the motel was less than enamoured with it. Country and western music (now just dated rock with a twang in the voice) makes me snigger. Sorry all you pearl button fans.
Over the empty Hwy 5A we saw a lot of dead trees and I spotted a sign about mountain pine beetles so I assume they've had some little nasties visiting. I got carried away with the wide open space and shot past Garrett at some ungodly speed. Good thing it was just a funny five minutes. Some Mountie with a ray-gun was nabbing speeders about 20 miles later.
I slept over 9 hours last night and feel worse for it. I think I am allergic to sleep, slowness and anything healthy. Off to Abbotsford today. I lived there in the 90's.

Lake Louise

2008-06-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

Blog and photos by Garrett Fulton
Beauty should never be the sole possesion of the rich and priveledged. Yet that is clearly the case with Lake Louise Canada. Its no wonder that throngs flock to Lake Louise. The chilly water is an enticing crystal green , the glacier which fills it a frozen white river, and the mountains that surround, sentinals who tower in triumph of the ages.
Tourists swarm the grounds from Korea, Holland, America and countless other countries who are drawn to its beauty like moths to the flame.
Despite the beauty, I found myself however rather disturbed by the solitary hotel and restaurant which ruled the grounds. Although it boasted not much more than a crystal lake and mountains, it capitolized on its well planned location like a lemonade stand in the middle of the Sahara. Rooms started at $400 dollars per night, dinner started at $50 dollars a plate, canoe rental was $55 dollars per hour and I didn't begin to even investigate the real cost of what it would cost to stay a weekend there with trinkets, drinks and novelties.I found myself despising the hotel for raping the tourists with such outrageous prices.
Although it was in name a "French Chateau", it didn't bother their consceince any to have Canadiens acting as Bavarian look alike porters to compliment the poorly imitated copy of Germanic architecture. Banking on tourist naivity, they created a conflicting, "cultural" salad of people,places and times to snow those with fat wallets and no taste to shell over money in exchange for bragging rights to what boiled down to fraud.
Having lived in France and Germany, I knew the real thing. Was I to cheer that the materialistic had been sold the emperors clothes? Should I have been glad that the workers were exposed as phoney? Should I have delighted to be able to laugh at the hotel as one would a Disneyland Castle? I don't know......... the scenery was heavenly, but the capitolism seemed debase.

(The views expressed are not necessarily those of the editor...JK Hahahaha)

Beautiful Banff...you HAVE to visit here!

2008-06-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Sunday I rested and then rode up to Calgary for a light meal and goodbyes. Monday: I was not keen to ride this day. Whatever bug had decided to set up house in me was not cooperating. The cure was obvious. Speed! Oh I would make such a great doctor! We rode north a bit to find Garrett a Wells Fargo bank but the offices were mortgages only. They told us Canada does not allow private banks. ??? Airlines, booze, banks, and petrol all government owned? It can't be. Sounds like communism to me. I think I need to find out the facts. Canada is too big to be so obscure. South Park teases Canada all the time so somebody must know what's going on. All I know is that it is almost as expensive as Rip-Off Britain. Garrett said "of course no Americans know where Canada is...we haven't bombed it yet".

The ride to Banff was stunning and I was beginning to feel better. Sun and threatening rain alternated. Lake Louise is truly one of the world's greatest settings and in spite of the drizzle it was fabulous. On to Emerald Lake as the sun obliged us. Way back in '92 I brought my family here and we rented a canoe and paddled this greenest of lakes. As you can see I went crazy with photos as every turn of my head made me ooh and aah. I did an abstract of Lake Louise. Brill' innit?

We made Golden by 8pm and grabbed a clean motel, a meal and crashed. At the restaurant 4 lads pulled in on sports bikes. A Blade, an identical R1 to mine, and 2 Gixxer thous. This very funny big bloke chased down his mates who had missed them at the stop and on his way back did a massive stand-up wheelie at about 80mph. I was SOOO jealous! We had a good laugh and they all asked about Sage and ACT! Being a British company, Sage is quite well known here in Canada and that interested me. I need to do more to make the Sage name known known in the States. Hmmmm, maybe if I set a new record for speeding fines? I suppose I'd better not...The internet did not work and neither did my mobile. I was too knackered to care. Only 187.9 miles but full focus and a fair bit of walking in full gear should have knocked me out but as usual, just when I need it most I sleep escapes me. I think I need to fly back to the office to play catch-up for a week then fly back to my bike and carry on. It proves a strange sort of self-imposed pressure I wish I could shed.

Saturday with family

2008-06-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

Well this may bore the majority of you. Family pics are usually dull but it's part of my tour so suffer me folks. I am quite sick still so while Garrett rode into the city I drank hot vitamin C drinks and slept. I felt pretty good at 5pm when they called so I rode north into the city centre to join them for a city walk by the Bow River and an excellent Irish steak and Guinness pie. Calgary is a rich city and the Lambos and Maserati I snapped are not uncommon. I'm not jealous...much.

En route I pulled up beside a bright orange custom Harley Screaming Eagle V rod. I complimented the bloke and he was very friendly. The lights changed and there before us were 4 lanes of absolutely empty road. Now that Harley shook Afganistan with it's exhaust as he hauled ass out of there. I tucked in, opened my baby's throttle and within 6 or 7 seconds hit 128mph. He rolled up to the lights beside me and grinned. We gave each other the thumbs up for that happy moment of devilment and as I swung west on 12th Avenue (at a very legal pace) he honked his horn and waved a big goodbye. I love bikes. Now here's the freaky bit. This morning Garrett spots a comment on my blog (rare as rocking-horse manure). It's from my best mate's son! Phil and Sharon Bennett live in Glossop England. You know, near the world-famous Hayfield. Almost as famous as Munich's No. 19 tram. Anyway, Dan Bennett was just exiting a C-train station and saw 2 bikes racing. He saw the Sage logo on my thigh and knew instantly who it was! What are the chances? Du du du du Twylight Zone!

We had a pleasant walk, enjoyed a meal, watched Garrett give in to a Guinness or 4 and took the mick out of me for being sober. We agreed to spend another day here and to meet up tonight again. I am trying to get hold of Dan too. It's just as well we decided to stay because I woke up feeling VERY ill with aching lungs and dizzy spells. I'll rest today again and then I promise I'll stop being a wimp and ride hard for the rest of this week. Tomorrow we are off to Banff and Lake Louise so expect more mountains, pine trees, lakes and rocks photos!

Meeting the neighbors

2008-06-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Crossing the border into Canada made me reflect on their flag. Throughout the world nations have come up with symbols that they feel best represents their country. They are often predatory animals of strength and aggression. The American eagle threatens to swoop down with its talons and beak. The Russian bear is imposing and dominant with its massive teeth and powerful claws and the British Lion with its dominance and terrible roar is the king of all beasts.
And the Canadian flag? A single solitary Maple leaf…….and that’s it.
Even a bag of leaves could be mildly threatening for they could potentially mess up your golf game on the putting green. A bag of leaves might overfill your garbage container, or a pile of leaves could plug up your gutters………….. but a single leaf?…. Its not much more than a crumbly book marker.
In a world of endless war however, where an African country like Mozambique has an AK-47 assault rifle as the symbol on its flag, its very refreshing indeed to come into a country that is so confident in its manhood that it can just simply enjoy a slice of peace andecology as its national emblem. Any country that puts nature above war has my vote.
Border crossings are always a bit of a grab bag. Consider. While crossing the border from Jordan into Israel the Jordanian border guard wouldn’t let me cross until I arm wrestled him. Once while entering into Britain, the car I was riding with was disassembled before our very eyes while the border guards went through every part looking for drugs. And when I asked where I could change money after crossing from Uganda into Rwanda, the border guard closed the window, marched across the lawn with me and showed me a young man in a worn t-shirt with a large brick of money and informed me that “this is the black market, you can change your money with him.”
Crossing into Canada however was really nothing much worth writing about. I was impressed however with the scenery, in particular with the lack of billboards, advertising and road signs. Canada was America 2.0. Still suffering from many of the same ills as it's American neighbors, but definitely one step closer to its European ancestry.

Eureka! Alberta is gorgeous!

2008-06-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by JK

I had a bad night. Sore throat. Then I was sick in the morning. I rode like a dazed pot-smoker for the first few miles through Eureka MT. But riding a fast bike in sunshine on big, smooth, open roads with mountain scenery cures any illness and soon I was grinning and singing in my helmet as I followed Garrett at a relatively sedate pace. He knew I was well "off" and considerately kept it smooth and easy. We did 230 odd miles in total yesterday and every mile was stunning. Go online and find scenery to get an idea. But from a bike, with the smell of grass and pine forests and rushing rivers, swooping like a snowboarder through the bends, it's beyond any IMAX experience. We took Hwy 93 north and, after a crackin' good laugh with the girl at the Canadian border, rode to Hwy 3 through Fernie BC, Sparwood, over the beautiful Crows Nest Pass, and then up the 22 to Calgary. Gentle rolling cattle ranches with jagged, snow-capped mountains in the distance made me forget how lousy I felt. We stopped for petrol and a chap on an obviously expensive custom Harley came over and asked me who I was racing for. He asked who SAGE was and what ACT! was. He said he had just returned from Duluth Minnesota and was stunned by the size of the ships on the Great Lakes. I enjoyed hearing his extremely Canadian accent. For the first time I recognized the difference between a Canadian accent and the generic American accent (not deep south or New Joisey). Canadians make every statement as a question in tone. Every sentence rises in tone at the end as though seeking agreement. Hey, how does a Canadian say the alphabet? A eh B eh C eh D eh E eh...

We found our hotel and discovered the online booking had messed up my reservation and we had to find another place for Saturday night. I was pigged off as I desperately needed some down-time but the young staff were so friendly and helpful that I just couldn't show my anger. Anyway, it wasn't their fault. Calgary is an oil town and booming. Hotels are not cheap and apparently they are all busy all the time. Just the sort of situation I hate. We settled in and my brother Richard called and said we were to meet at an Indian restaurant downtown. Downtown was all dug up and EXACTLY the route I had memorised was closed (typical) but we got there and had a jolly time with him and his lovely English wife Linda. Garrett pumped my brother full of questions about oil and the world scene. He loves all that. I ordered a Vindaloo curry and the waiter went "Ooooh". He asked why I ordered such a hot curry and I said "because you don't have a Phal on the menu". (Phal will kill small animals at 40 yards with a whiff of the sauce). Well it was about as hot as a Dairy Queen in a snow drift. My brother says no one in Calgary wants hot food. Hmmmmmm. And all those people from India walking the streets?

As we left the restaurant a large group of Richard's international work colleagues were at a table so I got to meet them. Richard and I are like the North and South pole. He is a real "proffessor" egg-head genius and I'm about as shallow as they come. We don't even look anything alike. On the way back I really enjoyed the rush of two bikes in a city at night weaving and dodging and watching the myriad lights in a frenzied focus. We stopped at some motel and booked the last room for Saturday night. I hope to see Scott (my sister Cathy's son) and Rebecca his wife tonight. I have to go pack up and move hotels now...groan.

Taking my anger to the Grave

2008-06-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Photos and Blog by Garrett Fulton
Imagine riding 80 miles out of your way in great anticipation of seeing something that people have hailed as breath taking, only to arrive there and find that the tourist attraction they were raving about was the equivalent of the “Belly Button Lint Museum.” That is roughly how disappointed I was at seeing the famous Glacier Park. (see angry attached photo)
It goes without saying that anyone who can travel for days through mountains, forests and lakes and is still willing to pay $12.00 to get into a National Park to see mountains, forests and lakes, undoubtedly has something wrong with them. To such chin dribbling suckers like myself, paying an entrance fee to see what I had seen for days for free was an I.Q. test that I had clearly failed.
The one advantage that I had to view the mountains in Glacier Park was that I didn’t need to bob and weave to look beyond the McDonalds signs and power lines to see them. Otherwise, the scenery inside the park was no different to the scenery outside the park.
I must backtrack for a moment however, before anyone reading this who loves Glacier N.P. starts chucking spears at me ,and state that we only got 16 miles into the park as the road was closed beyond that point because of a 2 foot snowfall that they had received the week before. So, my criticism must be curtailed as I wasn’t able to see the whole thing. Perhaps just over the next forbidden hill the streets were paved with gold, super models were serving bikers pitchers of beer and Led Zeppelin was doing a reunion tour amongst the pines,…but I really doubt it.
Soooooooo…..back we tracked for the same 40 miles we had come in until we found our way north towards Canada. I was enjoying my frustration and anger with Glacier National Park when we stumbled across something which robbed me of my delicious hate.
There by the side of the road were some of the most inviting wooden cabins I had seen in a long time. The grounds were immaculate and the cabins inside were cozy and detailed down to a nail. It’s the quaintest accommodations we have had so far.
To deprive me even further from my bad mood, the caretaker brought us complimentary crackers, cheese and sliced fruit, not unlike your mother would bring her little adventurers who are camping in the back yard. By now I was thoroughly at home and was dreading having to leave.
Their website should soon be up at www.GraveCreekCabins.com. Don’t let the name dissuade you. You will be hard pressed to find cozier accommodations or hospitality on your travels.
(Second photo is of ACT consultant Tami and a photo inside our cabin at Grave Creek. Greetings to my cousin Jodie W. who has been following along as well.)

Cutest cabins in the world?

2008-06-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by James Kingstone

I had hoped to meet up with Tami Sauer who works with DesignR1 as a partner for the creation of specialised management reports. She is known to all the ACCs as The Report Goddess. I figured she was out of town (which proved correct) but I was very happy when she called me early this morning to say "let's meet at 1pm in Whitefish town centre". Tami lives on a Ranch south of Kalispell and was up in Whitefish training people to use ACT! That gave Garrett and me time to relax and deal with emails and blogs and still we had time to visit a customer of DesignR1 in Kalispell called Montana Institute of Massage Therapy. Christy and Teresa were a tad shocked at my entrance in full leathers but soon recovered and posed bravely with the pirate look-alike behind the R1. We rode up Hwy 93 to Whitefish and stopped at a little cafe on the corner to meet Tami. They had no coffee filters and no milk so I just sat there. It was the noisiest street corner in the world! Every one of the 8 million passing 400 tonne trucks was empty so the metal flaps clanged at death-level decibels. Throw in the odd Harley with straight-through pipes, a couple of pre-70s V8s dragging their exhausts and hey bingo...shouting match that looks like you are fighting when you are politely chatting. Garrett took some unflattering arty-farty shots of us reflected in his helmet and after tips on routes to ride we said our goodbyes and headed for the much-vaunted Glacier Park.

South on Hwy93 then left onto Hwy40 and 25 miles later we entered the park with it's attractive wooden shops. A very friendly attendant at the petrol station told us that the road through was closed after 16 miles due to snows that fell LAST WEEK. This has been a brutal winter in America and the car park still had 10' of snow on June 19th and the east side of the pass still had 100' drifts (YES! 100 feet deep). We were dumb enough to cough up $12 for the 32 mile trip past a lovely lake. Mosquitos greeted us at the road block. This may be the greatest scenery on earth (according to all the people we spoke to) but that is obviously after you reach Logan's Pass. Garrett was well ticked off as he HATES backtracking. Anyway, nothing for it but to return to Whitefish and head north to Eureka (that name cracks me up...I picture some old prospector in long-johns jumping up with his gold nugget) and the Canadian border. Garrett had forgotten to zero his trip meter so when he signalled he needed petrol after just 85 miles I was quite concerned. He was, of course, showing 130 plus miles and said he was having minor panic attacks. We had a good laugh and the lady at the shop recommended Grave Creek Cabins as a place to stay. Brilliant. 2 miles later we were sorted and with a display of extraordinary hospitality in the form of fruit and cheese and crisps settled in to the cutest little cabin in the world. I want one. NOW! Garrett and I both had north-woods boyhoods full of cabins and camping so this cabin just blew us away. Please excuse me uploading all the photos of it but I think this sort of thing is the best of America by far. In one of the shots Garrett is throwing a fit about the 3 hours and 82 miles wasted in the park. Tomorrow we hope that the border guards aren't TOO neurotically paranoid so that I get to see my brother and nephew in Calgary. Everyone I talk to likes that city.

The Bearded Lady, the Dwarf and the Lizard man all went out for a drink…

2008-06-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Ever wonder what happens when the traveling Circus packs it up for the night? You have to believe that the cast all gets together and goes out for dinner and drinks. It must be a complicated affair. The bearded lady can't eat the soup, the dwarf has to get a booster chair, and the lizard man with webbed hands can't pick up the silverware.
It was a bit like that driving along the I-90 today. None of the vehicles were compatible. R.V.s , semis, cars, lumber trucks, vans and our motorcycles all trying to get along on the same road, each with different speeds, different needs and different problems. Traffic didn’t flow and hum in harmony as we had experienced in the past, rather it it had all the awkwardness of Frankenstein doing ballet.
James just finally hit the throttle to zip away from this traveling circus gone wrong and I half expected rabid foam and saliva from his trafffic induced anger to hit my visor as I followed along.
Traffic does go along at an incredible speed here in Montana where people think nothing of doing 85 or 95 mph on a highway with a speed limit of 75mph. But then again, it does make sense.
They have such BIG distances to travel, so they might as well get on with it.They get in their BIG cars, get out on to the BIG highway, drive to their BIG homes, give their BIG wives a BIG kiss, sit down at a BIG table, eat a BIG meal, watch the news on their BIG televisions, crawl into their BIG beds and have BIG dreams of making BIG money.
Yes everything about the place was BIG,…the trees, the mountains, the stretches of road, the ranches . I didn’t take any pictures. Trying to capture such scenery on a photo is like trying to capture God with a T-shirt slogan. It can't be done,…so why try.
I decided to go the other direction and get a couple of photos of something really small. The pet ferrets of the managers of the Hill Top Motel in Kalispell who were ever so accommodating.

Montana motoring

2008-06-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

Wednesday we set off from our Livingston motel having stayed an extra day to catch up with work and photos and blogs etc. I wiped my poor neglected R1 down and oiled the chain. At some point a number-plate bolt departed so I need to make sure I don't lose the plate. An oil change is well overdue but this baby just doesn't drink any oil it seems! And off we went with tanks full of petrol and coffee in sunshine. Our first 50 odd miles were on the I90 and man oh man do they motor! Pick-ups with trailers doing 90mph mixed with cars doing 50 mph and trucks doing 70mph made for entertaining focus and judicious use of the throttle! Once we left the 90 for the calm of Hwy 287 it was bliss. Garrett said he was feeling lethargic, which suited me as my back was aching again, so we doodled along enjoying the scenery. This State is gorgeous too and I spent almost the whole 316 miles dreaming of a cabin by the lake on 1/2 acre. I'd build it of course! We simply rode and rode and rode gawping at snow-capped mountains, beautiful blue lakes and rolling green hills and forests. Whilst stopped for petrol at the junction of Hwy 200/83 a man in a Jeep drove up where we were having a snack. He chuckled and offered us his Jeep, dog and tools for my bike. He decided to keep the missus it seems. The dog was a blue-eyed huskey and as soft and cuddly as any dog on earth. We had a laugh and set off up the gorgeous Hwy 83. I pulled ahead of Garrett and started doing ballet poses whilst riding. We had entered Swan Lake Montana. Our mood, our pace, the roads, the weather, the scenery, all were perfect. What a day! We arrived at Kalispell about 7:30pm and after running about a bit we turned back to a particularly clean little motel called Hilltop Inn. The manageress let us hold her pet Ferrets and we fell in love with them on the spot. Pizza fixed the empty bits as we planned our run for tomorrow through Glacier National Park. We were told by more than one traveller that Glacier is the best in the world so we are keen to see it.

What went wrong?

2008-06-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Imagine if right now you could undo every mistake that you have ever made in your life up to this point and start tomorrow with a completely clean slate. What would that be worth to you?As strange as it may sound, that is exactly the opportunity that the early American settlers had before them as they stepped off on to a new continent. It could have been a fresh new start on an untainted, clean land of unlimited possibility. They could have taken the previous two thousand years of European history and used it as spring board to launch the perfect civilization and culture.
All the things that the Europeans did well and right up to that point could have simply been copied and continued.On the other hand, every poorly planned city, every disastrous civil engineering project, every dysfunctional public system, and every unsightly blemish of disorganization, bad laws and chaos could have been noted and completely avoided. Put plainly, the new settlers in this vast new land could have avoided every sin and mistake of their European forefathers...............but they didn’t.
Now lets jump to the modern day....are you still with me?
While riding through the town of Cody, which had been described to us as "very interesting", and "really historical", I found myself once again shaking my helmet in disgust. The road out was loaded with ticky tacky trinkety tourist trash. T-shirt shops, theme restaurants which capitalized on names of note, stands selling fireworks, road side "museums" and numerous other stores set up shop where a person could buy useless novelties engraved with a location to be put like worthless trophies on bookshelves at home to collect dust. The road side was cluttered with signs, arrows and commerce all vying for business, but in a room where everyone yells, no one is heard.
I had to pause and reflect. What had we become as a society? What happened to that fresh start? What had we done to that clean slate we were afforded? Why did we abandon the goddess of beauty and start our malignant worship to the demon of commerce? We could have had warm cozy pubs with stone walls and inviting wooden signs. Instead we have towering plastic icons selling to us miles in advance Mc Donald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Shell Gasoline. We could have had gorgeous brick buildings and cobblestone. Instead we have entire treeless housing developments with plastic siding ,asphalt roofs and power lines.
Building styles conflict, commerce is king and efficiency is deified. America has sacrificed the child of culture for convenience, murdered tradition for money and abandon good taste for comfort. Like a child with peanut buttery hands let loose in a fabric store, everything he touches is stained.
How ironic then that a beautiful national park like Yellowstone is merely an area that Americans haven’t been allowed to touch. It required no work, no planning, nor any design. It is an untouched reminder of the gorgeous original slate that we as Americans had but squandered. It is an area that is fenced off, away from the sticky peanut buttery hands of American commerce and bad taste. What went wrong?

Yellowstone. Beyond beautiful.

2008-06-17T20:45:00.000-07:00

There is no point in my even trying to gather a bag full of superlatives to fling over this blog. Suffice to say that our ride through Yellowstone impressed me with the fact that this area of the earth HAD to be preserved. Thank goodness the Americans saw that way back in the 1800's and took action. Thank you. The range of geological formations, rivers, lakes, mountains, trees and wildlife is amazing. The roads are good, the amenities well located and reasonably fitting with a log cabin theme, and everyone seems awed and friendly. There was one oddity just before you enter the park at Wapiti. Some huge structure that appears to have been some film set for a scifi film. Or maybe a millionaire quack with bad taste?

Garrett and I put to good use the cornering skills we honed over Bighorn and this run was quick and smooth and satisfying as a cold beer at a rugby match. 248 miles later we queued to check into a motel in Livingstone Montana. It was an unusually modest wooden sign that announced our entry to Montana. The scenery was still gorgeously alpine with a cowboy overlay. Highlights? Seeing a good reason for a traffic jam. Not some pinhead who can't steer a car in a straight line but a buffalo with total disdain for humans and their cars and cameras. Old Faithful was worth the brief wait. The forest fires left intriguing skeletons of white. The lakes were so blue. The riding was fabulous on excellent roads but the sheer beauty of the wilderness made that joy seem rather insignificant. All I can say is that I will be back to spend more time and see more places. I rather fancy horseback riding into the mountains. When they have a horse with a brake lever on it's right ear...

CARmageddon

2008-06-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Upon riding into Gillette Wyoming, I realized that we were on unfamiliar ground. From the road I saw what appeared to be tornado strewn debris and chaos, but upon closer inspection, I realized the damage to be homes of "humans" and all the possesions they had collected in their lives up to that point. Rusted cars, broken RVs, piles of sheet metal, rotten siding, a tractor with grass growing up through it and other articles of disuse and abandon too many to count and too difficult to catagorize decorated the horizon.
It was as if Vrashnag, some Hindu-like God of garbage had come up from the bowels of the earth and placed his throne firmly in the foothills of Gillette and gathered his throngs of loyal devotees around him. In order to serve their God better and provide for their larvae, many "humans" in the area worked in strip mines gathering coal to provide sacrificial smoke to the Great Vrashnag. Others found employment in welding shops, selling used cars, manufacturing-plants and other industries of noise and blight.
Even now I am trying to dislodge the abandoned washing machines, the forgotten piles of plumbing pipe and wheel-less motorcycles from memory. There was something ahead that would help me.
Leaving Gillette behind, we eventually snaked our way to the snowcapped mountains which glistened like a row of gleaming white teeth on the horizon. Up, up, up we climbed weaving and twisting our way to the top. All around us a store house of snow, and only the road, a shimmering black ribbon cut through the banks of snow like a pencil line scribbled on white paper. From up top at nearly 10,000 feet I surveyed the surroundings as far as the eye could see. It felt as if I merely peered down I could fall off the map, or if I reached up I could ruffle Gods pant hems.
Descending the other side I had to conclude that my face, to any onlooker, must have appeared like one of those post office "Wanted" posters, bug eyed and frightened. Slippery metal grates placed strategically in the middle of curves and blind corners had me warming up to the notion of using the brakes lest I not skirt the corner.
Arriving at the bottom, it was good to be down on level ground again,...a victory bag of Doritos was definately in order.

On to Cody and some knee down corners

2008-06-17T19:17:00.001-07:00

Words and Photos by James Kingstone

I was feeling much better after some aspirin and my back was strong again. Garrett's tooth was still hurting so he swallowed about 3 tonnes of tablets. We were headed for Cody Wyoming on a lovely sunny Sunday. We fuelled up and headed out for a short run where the 14 and I90 run together and turned off at Gillett. I thought of shaving. Garrett thought it was ugly. We stopped in horror at a trash strewn hillside and took pictures out of sheer disbelief. Then off to ride through half abandoned towns with "historic" jails. Then on to Sheridan where we ate a pretty hefty meal at a Perkins with very friendly staff. Back onto the 14/90 for a short run.

We passed a police car who had nailed some speeding SUV. Moments later I see his flashing lights. No way had we been speeding. I pulled over as the ever oblivious Garrett dreamily wafted off into the distant hills. His rear-view mirrors are crap. The policeman asked why I had not moved over to the outside lane when passing him. I gather American police like to be given a wide berth whilst issuing "citations" (how odd - I always thought a citation was an award). He was actually very friendly as he explained the meaning of the awkwardly worded signs about emergency vehicles. I hardly thought an officer issuing a ticket was an emergency...except for the poor sod getting the "citation". Eventually he sent me on my merry way with directions to turn off at Ranchester. A cross between Ranch and Manchester I assumed.

Garrett was waiting up the road and soon we were climbing the twisty road over Bighorn National Forest. That first sight of vast snow-capped mountains looked like clouds on the horizon. I was excited to get sliding back and forth in my saddle as we finally got to put some side rubber to tarmac. At the first sight of snow I stopped and made a snowman. A little mascot hitchhiker. We left him lonely and melting in the road and headed on to 9430 feet and snow walls. The views were alpine stunning. The run down the west side was great fun although Garrett had a heart-stopping moment when he saw the cattle grid across the road in a curve. Steel tube roads when you are fully cranked over is not a favourite recipe for staying rubber-side down! However, we arrived unscathed in Lovell to refuel and high-five over our exhilarating ride. Garrett made great strides that day and it was the perfect practice run for Yellowstone. We ride well together and Garrett always puts safety first. I rely on cynicism, speed and space. We finished the evening run into Cody, managed the last room as throngs of Harleys flooded the town and ate at the Irma Hotel (1902) http://www.historic-hotels.com/hoteldisplay.php?id=10. Garrett chatted up the cute Russian waitresses that spoke no English. They were very patient. I was so glad to have my kidney pains gone and my back stronger. I swear that riding twisties at heart-stopping speeds cures all back ailments. It may cause boxer-short problems. Garrett was now trying salt solutions and antiseptics on his swollen gum. Tomorrow - the world famous Yellowstone!

A step back into the past

2008-06-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
Winding roads cut through towering cliffs of ruddy red sandstone took us up to the mountain where four proud faces were there looking out over the horizon. Mt. Rushmore is definately one of the most impressive monuments I have seen anywhere in the world. Think your last haircut was a disaster? Imagine the problems that could have ensued had the sculpters of this massive monolith used too much dynomite and blew off a chin, or a nose.There was no room for much error in this icon of the ages, and for me it rivals the pyramids of Giza, a rather perochial stacking of blocks if you ask me.
Snaking through the canyons North to Wyoming, we stepped back in time to the late1800s in the legendary town of Deadwood nestled amidst the lush pine valley growing atop the rocks and boulders.
A troop of costumed characters took us back to the wild west with their pocket watches, pistols and spurs. They were ever so kind about having their pictures taken that we thought it only right to post numerous shots of them on the web. One of them, Michael Dixon, has apparently played in "Pirates of the Carribean", "Deadwood" and other productions. I wasn't able to locate him in the International Movie Data Base however to share more of his acting career with you. Michael, if you are listening in, please tell us more about yourself in the comments section.
In wanting to get some road behind us we put the rockets on the I-90 and hit the throttle. A welcome detour off of the main drag brought us to yet another of America's outstanding sights, the Devils Tower in Wyoming. This towering basalt centinal rises up unchallenged like a pillar of Jurrasic pride. Around about is a clean inviting wilderness that can be explored and and enjoyed. America really does an outstanding job with their national parks. Both James and I want to say a big hello to Aaron at Dailey's Pub in Mound Minnesota and to Mike Wallien. Mike buddy, you should be here with us. We miss you.

2 Deadlegs in Deadwood - Rapid City SD to Wyoming

2008-06-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

Blog and photos by James Kingstone

Saturday morning I had an urgent letter to send to NY, thanks to a fine officer with an eye for missiles. We eventually found the post office in spite of directions from a local sending us to Sumatra...America, you make me weep. Feeling much better for getting urgent "business" forms posted we headed off for the famous Mount Rushmore. I love how the website says it is a free monument...just $10 to park your motorcycle. Still, it's a great piece of work and well worth the ride out there as the scenery is superb. We enjoyed an ice cream and rode Hwy 36 and 385 to Deadwood. In the heat of a sunny afternoon we ran around Deadwood like two 7 year old boys enjoying the wild west atmosphere. As we approached an Inn Don warner (on the right) walked out in full "costume" followed by the rest of the desperados and Sheriffs. These guys put on a great show and explain all about Buffalo Bill's life and his untimely death. Those guns are loud enough to compete with passing Harleys.

From Deadwood we set out for Sundance Wyoming and Garrett told me about The Devil's Tower. It was not a huge detour so I jumped at it and off we sped. Well I was amazed at this weird chunk of rock sitting in a field like some Sheffield power-plant cooling tower. A cute deer gazed at our parked bikes. A friendly police officer wanted to know all about our bikes and luggage. Two very friendly Harley riders from Saginaw Michigan asked me to take their photo. It's interesting how bikers love to compare travel tecniques. We rode on to Hulett for a motel but that weekend's rodeo meant no rooms so back we rode and headed for Moorcroft and a cute motel. Garrett sits on the steps amidst the mosquitoes...

Lights on, no one home

2008-06-17T13:15:00.001-07:00

Blog and Photos by Garrett Fulton
If God lived on earth, it would have to be in South Dakota for only such an enormous skycould contain him. The vastness of the heavens, the endless expanse of rolling plains and the sparceness of habitation leaves a person in an almost unsettled state of agrophobia and nakedness.It seemed to me as if the entire population of China could be effortlessly disolved into the grassyplains and rolling hills even as rain is, and show no increase for it.

Friday 13th - No such thing as bad luck!

2008-06-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Words and photos by James Kingstone

After the storm of yesterday the glorious sunshine on the Missouri River, nestled deep below the green hills, was a beautiful sight to behold. But that wind was still angry. Very angry. We were headed for Rapid City and I set a rather 'brisk' pace for about 75 miles. Garrett had suggested we tank up as we left but with a good 100 miles of fuel left in my tank I said let's tank later. Garrett came past and signalled a stop. He was dry. I couldn't believe it. It was only 1 mile to the next petrol station so I belted off and after tanking up I ran back with a coke bottle full for him. The wind was so violent it blew that 93 octane straight in my eyes. Nice. Ever seen a grown man in full leathers dancing around yanking paper from a dispenser and turning the air blue? riding the wrong way up an Interstate on the hard shoulder added to the sense of adventure. Hello officer...We stopped for a coffee and analysed the consumption. With a smaller engine, a bigger bloke on board with more luggage and what we reckoned were 40mph headwinds it was no wonder Garrett ran dry. Also, his Kawasaki only has a fuel warning light, tough to spot in sunlight, whereas my Yamaha has a warning light plus electronic mileage countdown. Garrett was getting 31mpg and I was down to 37mpg from my usual 45-50mpg. Lesson learned and trip meters set we accepted a suggestion from a local and took Hwy 16 parallel to the Interstate and enjoyed a more relaxed pace to Kadoka. En route we saw an abandoned old farmhouse and took photos. It seemed to summarize the wide open space here in South Dakota. We refuelled both bikes and bodies at Kadoka with a good breakfast and set off to see the badlands via Hwy 44. From now on we would avoid the Interstates as often as possible and just as I had originally planned.

This road is worth riding. The wind had abated and the intense blue skies, green grass and white stones were stunning. I had no idea I would love this State so much. The corny phrases "wide open spaces" and "big sky" take on all the meaning the original writers meant to convey. We made a brief stop in Scenic (not very well named as the photos show) seeking fuel but there wasn't any so we finished off about 8pm in Rapid City for fuel and a crummy motel. End of day I was scenery saturated. South Dakota is a must see for scenery fans. And the best was yet to come.

I need to confess though that the farther west one goes the more one sees scant regard for man's intrusion on nature. This must be a byproduct of the rush for shelter that the early pioneers were forced to adopt in such a beautiful but harsh land. Still, there is little excuse to continue this in the 20th and 21st centuries and the 50's through 80's were far worse than the 1850's because the materials used were not from the land but were artificial, plastic and aluminium, land-fill garbage that blight man's existence more than it eases it. Optical pollution from quick-buck junkies rules the landscape and breaks the heart. Rapid City in the Black Hills struck me this way. I nicknamed it Rabid City. It seems to be a collection of scruffy hilltop segments that collide in a valley full of neon signs and fast-built, flat-roofed, cinder-block convenience satisfyers. Necessary? For sure. So ugly? Not acceptable. But by now no one knows what good taste or beauty or balance is. And no one cares. Pity. Truly a pity. No wonder the history is gone, replaced with Tourist stops done in cinder block or raw cement and big billboards with tacky pictures of Buffalo Bill or some country and western radio station shoved in your face until you don't even see them any more. Log cabins moved to non-historic locations and loaded up with myths seem perfectly acceptable to the masses who's main concern is the next 2 gallon slushie drink to sip in their massive RV. Maybe it was inevitable and is no more than a modern version of a gold-rush mining town.

So we rode into the first motel we saw and set up camp, grab a subway sandwich and catch the news on telly. I was awake all night with intense back pain and couldn't decide if it was muscular or a kidney infection. I nearly went insane with pain and Garrett helped me out with pain killers but only aspirin works on me so I just tossed all night. Garrett too had it rough as his newly pulled tooth was killing him and a helmet pushed by 70mph headwinds really added the finishing touches. He made me laugh when he said "to me a Pharmacy looks like an all-you-can-eat-buffet". He took so many tablets to tough it out he rattled when he walked by. Friday the 13th? Pah!

Fighting Thor

2008-06-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Blog and photos by Garrett Fulton)
A warm inviting sun and blue sky was there to greet us when we pulled back the motel curtains of a stop and flop. The roads were dry, straight and cleanand we soon found ourselves rocketing down the road, hanging on to the handlebarsagainst a hard west wind and our own high speed. My Ninja snorted and snarled, growling atsemi's and cars, as I hammered on past.
All was going well until a dark mass rose up on the horizon like the thunder god himself. James passed me and gave the "its looking ify" sign to me by rocking his flattened palm back and forth. In seeking shelter however there would be nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide in a vast landscape of barenness and grass. Finally, a slender bridge revealed itself to us in the distance and we took refuge under its concrete and steel embrace.
On the horizon, dirt and debris were being lifted into the air to such a height that I concluded we were seeing the beginnings of a tornado. Suddenly, we were hit by a blast of wind that raged and raped the landscape at a continuous fury of 70 miles per hour. It didnt abate or pause but blew at such a tempest that I had to revisit my original theory of being in the audience of an on coming tornado.
A pack of Harley riders and other cars pulled off the road and under the bridge to attempt escape. It lashed and threw rain at us at such a severe wind blown angle and speed that I was able to stay perfectly dry by finding shelter behind a single concrete pillar.
Like a terrible anger that was unleashed upon us, as quickly as it came, it was blown east as if chased away by brilliant sunshine that followed. It was our queue to head for accomodation as the sky threatened in waves.

A bad case of wind

2008-06-12T20:24:00.000-07:00

Blog and photos by Garrett Fulton
Our brief period of good weather abruptly came to an end on the day we set out on our trip.The sky was an ominous thick quilt of gray and black. In preparation for a downpour I had on my yellow rain suit. It flailed whipped and snapped in theheavy cross wind so severely that it felt as if I was being pummeled by a mob of angry Bulgarianhousewives with and fly swatters.
The very motorcycle itself was blown around the road like a toy boat in an ocean of air and seemedless like a 400 pound metal missle and more like a kite with severed string.
After foolishly removing our raingear to keep from overheating at a rest stop, we pressed on to theSouth Dakota border. Before we could make it however a storm loomed up on the horrizon like a great and terrible dragon. Daylight turned to darkness and it proceeded rain so hardthat I felt as if I was on a jet ski, plowing my way through, creating a watery wake in my path.So intense was the rain, I nearly had to pull over from inability to see.
Mere minutes later however, it had passed and we drove off into a warm sunset, emerald green fields and drying roads. A roadside diner was there to greet us with neon lights, blue plate specials and highway memorabilia.

Acting like Animals

2008-06-12T20:00:00.000-07:00

Blog and photos by Garrett Fulton
Before we left Minneapolis, we took a day off and headed to the Minnesota Zoo.It was a beautifully sunny day in what was otherwise a miserable spring which followed an equally miserable winter.
What we had hoped would be a relaxing outing turned to mild chaos as the zoo was so over run with kids enjoying their first week off of school. Throngs ran about your legs and were easily underfoot, baby strollers blocked walkways and windows to exhibits were smudged with endless sticky icecream prints and puckered lips.
Still, the Minnesota Zoo, (MNZoo.com) is one of my favorite locations to while away a summer day.

Thursday June 12 - storm survival in South Dakota

2008-06-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

The sun was bright and cheerful at 8am. The wind was strong but not worrying me. The temperature perfect for riding but just a tad high for hiking about the falls. Garrett took some shots of me posing like a ninny at the surprisingly impressive Sioux Falls. I took a picture of the old water works between the trees. I also took a photo of Garrett's luggage, burned by his big exhaust can yesterday. Another hour and he would have had toasted T-shirts and baked boxers. We headed out from Sioux Falls on the I90 west to see the famous Mitchell corn palace. I mean come on...some chap nails 1/2 corn cobs on a tacky plywood shed in 3 colour pictures and it becomes a major USA attraction? Across the road is an American rendition of a castle (wince) but I did spot Merlin coming to work there. Nice truck Merl...

As we progressed westward the sky ahead looked ominous. I was leading at that point and Garrett was flying wing-man. I was furiously working out our speed westward and the storms progress eastward. I decided to pull up under an overpass and ask Garrett his opinion. Good move JK. Garrett reckoned we should give it 10 minutes. Then he saw the storm grab the earth ahead and he reckoned it could become a tornado. As the storm swept down on us the fury of the wind was awesome. I did my best to capture it as Garrett struggled in the blast to get his camera out. Suddenly a group of Harley riders sought refuge beside us. The storm blew past like some demented curtain of hatred and the scene as it fled eastward was beautiful. We were awe struck for 15 minutes and then gathered our gear and quickly set a fast pace to the next town and a warm motel. As we approached the Missouri river the views were spectacular. We agreed that South Dakota is worth a visit. The Harley guys stopped here in Chamberlain too. Pizza Hut and photo downloading soaked up the night. Day two and the 148 mile adventure was just great.

In search of a past home...

2008-06-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

The weather was not looking too good this morning and I contemplated leaving tomorrow but Garrett was up for getting underway and quite frankly he was right. As an Englishman once said, "There is no such thing as bad weather, merely inappropriate clothing". Therein hangs a tale. We did last minute checks on tyres and gear and donning our weatherproof gear rode off in light drizzle from Mound. Next stop Sioux Falls South Dakota. Ten miles down the road the flippin' sun comes out. We kept our gear on as we rode Hwy 169/60 south through very pretty scenery of rolling hills and heavy woods. We had one or two brief showers but nothing untoward as regards rain. The wind was another story. Garrett and I had worked out a riding pattern and hand signals and we were getting along famously. I was very glad to see that Garrett was a careful rider as I normally ride completely alone. Solo flight is my delight. As we rode on I started to cook in my gear and called a stop to remove the outer layer before I fainted. That was right as the 60 met the I90 west. A friendly trucker told us to sit a bit longer as bad weather was coming. We had been battling very powerful side winds again and were getting tired so a rest was well due. In lovely sunny conditions we hit the I 90 with just 60 miles to go and I was feeling so free without my waterproofs...I swear that blasted black cloud KNEW I had removed them. It poured down fit to make Noah run for it. We could hardly see 6' ahead of us. At one point I stopped under a bridge for cover. Ha! The rain blew horizontally through that overpass so we just had to get soaked. I was very concerned that getting my leathers soaked would mean days waiting for them to dry out but just as quickly as it appeared the cloud skipped away and we let the breeze and sun begin the drying process. Garrett wanted to visit an old house where his father first lived until 1941 so we rode south on Hwy 75 and 11 to Steen MN, right on the Iowa border. Garrett spoke to some locals and 74 year old John Bosch knew Garrett's grandfather and was able to clarify which farm was the old homestead. We rode to Iowa for 10 seconds and then to that farm. Glen and Ann had a lot of cows and pigs to care for but made us so welcome as we explained about our ride and Garrett's search for the house. I noted what happy people they seemed to be and how friendly all these southern Minnesotan's were. We made our way to Sioux Falls and a cheap motel and had a good meal at a real American roadhouse. Garrett then proceeded to run off into the dark with his camera and come back looking smug with some good shots. I'm too busy getting a cold and blowing my nose to show enthusiasm. 231.8 miles under pretty tough conditions. It was a good start.

Thursday June 5th to Tuesday June 10th

2008-06-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

It was on to Schaumberg near Ohare airport to meet eMagine consulting group. JoAnn Freeman greeted us and we met Bryauna Bieneman and Cheryl Plencner to learn how they assisted businesses in getting the right talent into their firm. Their extensive HR knowledge is one of their main assets. Then it was off to Ohare for Jax flight back to Riverside and my ride on toward Minneapolis in the heat. The R1 and I sure did miss Jax. En route to Madison a helpful chap grabbed his Garmin GP and announced it was 292 miles to Minneapolis. Try 300 plus. I stopped in Madison and went for a meal at Olive Garden. I was settled in to my motorcycle magazine when Danny the friendly waiter came up. Now that boy is outgoing and he was soon giving me tips about seeing the best of Madison and drawing me maps. To top that off he insisted I give any tip to the Hole in the Wall Gang charity. Thanks Danny, I'll make sure that happens. Unfortunately the weather next morning washed away any chance of a Madison photo op and I was marooned until noon watching black clouds and horizontal rain. Then sun. I took a chance and headed out for Minneapolis in my leathers and the sun held all the way. Jax had called from California and begged me not to ride as the weather was so stormy and the winds so powerful. Oh yes! Of course I ignored her warning as it involved being sensible and safe. Idiot brain! I was keen to see my mate Garrett that day so I set out. It was an EPIC ride! I battled a westerly wind as I headed more north than west (if you are compass challenged it meant the winds were hitting my left side almost all the way). It took me a long time to get used to the intense concentration as I was battered from side to side. It was a 5 hour ride and during my stop for petrol the wind started to blow the bike over as I filled up! Not since crossing the St. Laurence leaving Montreal had I been so scared. 3 hours west along I94 the blasted farmers had cleared a zillion acres of trees and left a valley that the winds HOWLED along. I had just passed a huge Kenworth 18 wheel truck when I was blown across 2 lanes as if I weighed 100 grammes. That poor truck driver. As soon as the bike touched down I accelerated and swung left across the lanes again as I didn't want to hit the ditch on the right if it happened again. I had to keep enough forward speed so that the headwind countered the sidewind and that got me to Minneapolis in a quicker time. It was amazing how quickly one adjusted to the conditions and I was relaxed in spite of the constant little heart-stoppers. Nevertheless, I was very happy when I rolled up outside my mate's garage doors. I put away a few beers that night! En route I saw these weird rocks near the Wisconsin Dells and this Harley engined ocean liner sailed in. Why not just put a saddle on an 18 wheeler?
Garrett is an unstoppable host and loves to cook up specialty foods. Friday evening, Saturday and even Sunday passed in a blur of meeting people and old friends and catching up on news. Garrett has bought an orange Kawasaki Ninja 636 (I did tip him the wink on that choice) and done all his own mechanical servicing and man that engine sounds like a symphony. I also met Connie & Doug Schnabel at the Caribou coffee house (internet) because I was gawping at his new Kawasaki KLR650 which got great reviews in the american mags. He LOVES it. Happy riding you two!
Monday we went into Minneapolis as I desperately needed a new front tyre. I think it has done over 13,000 miles! The guys at Hitching Post in Hopkins MN obliged me with instant service, good advice, friendly banter and checking things beyond what was expected. Matt, Trent, thanks a million. Garrett wanted photos of the Russian grizzly bears so we spent a few hours at the zoo. I also took a pic of one of the houses he built. He also built his parents lovely Cape-Cod style house. Billions of kids made photography very difficult. I think I have now heard the DUMBEST kid in the world whilst at the zoo. I was standing looking at a small african antelope with LONG sharp horns. There were huge Bactrian camels in the field over to the right. A girl of about 15 or 16 looking at the antelope said to her father (who looked one tin short of a six-pack) "Like what is that? A baby camel?" "I dunno" he said. Now this girl MUST have grown up with Lion King, Discovery Channel, School, endless safari scenes on Telly and she thinks baby camels are born with 3' straight pointed horns? I won't even begin to mention all the American kids that yelled "meerkats" when they saw those most american of animals the prairie dogs. I suppose that is forgivable in little ones who just see them standing up to attention but I honestly think you may want to burn all your schools down and just let the Discovery Channel take over. I suppose in reality I just overheard some teenager that has had a mobile phone to her ear for 12 years without a break...
Monday evening Garrett and I met up with no less than 4 ACCs. What a reception! Krista Young of Automated Business Solutions spread the word I was in town and David (NOT Dave) Sunnarborg of MarketPlace Innovations, Karen Fine "The ACT! Lady" and Jim Fry of ACTSource all made their way to Champs for a little food and drink. Garrett enjoyed Krista's African experiences as he is well travelled and plans to tour Africa later this year on a motorbike. David insisted on spoiling us as guests and we all compared notes about consulting work with ACT! It amazes me how all these people are so friendly and helpful and easy-going when on paper we are all competitors. In reality, we all work together to get the best service to our customers and they love learning about solutions and tips and tricks. Thanks for a very pleasant evening guys and gals!
This morning I rode down here to Caribou Coffee and some connectivity to update this blog. Tomorrow should see Garrett and I set out on the final half of the journey. If you are en-route and want a visit do email me.

Tuesday June 3 Leather Yoga...

2008-06-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Tuesday I had planned to visit the girls at eMagine ( customers of DesignR1) and then check out some childhood haunts with Jax. It rained. No, I mean it RAINED! The car park was awash. By the time it eased it was afternoon and getting to the old houses and on to Milwaukee looked a bit hectic. We set off and found the roads solid with traffic. We managed to locate one of the old homes in a very nice neighbourhood north of Chicago. A hasty sandwich and a refuel and we set off to visit another ACC, Fred Varin, Topline Results Corporation in Peewaukee Wisconsin. By the time we hit Wisconsin I was so sick of the Illinois tolls every 300 feet with horrific roads and worse traffic that I punched the air in a big cheer to be free of that stupid State. Pity Chicago is in Illinois. Can't you all get together and push it up into Wisconsin?

Against all odds we managed to find (THAT was a miracle in itself) and arrive more or less on time for Fred's Yoga class. Now I am NOT a Yoga person. I hate ANYTHING that smacks of meditation, gurus, exercise, or oriental philosophy. However, I decided to have a go for the experience. It was more or less stretching exercises as far as I could see. No one managed to zoom around the ceiling looking at themselves down below. I know...I peeked. So here I was being a well-behaved boy in my leathers (I needed the knee pads) while Jax and Fred cracked up in silent laughter at the sight of me. The regulars attending were very polite and long-suffering. We then followed Fred's Lexus at what I called "refreshingly European" speeds to his lovely home by the Lake. Melanie, his wife, made a ldelicious meal and since it was pork I pigged out again... Patrick, Clark and Stephanie were so well behaved I assumed I had terrified them. Then 5 year old Stephanie brought me her French language books. So I taught her to read in French. Why they were all rolling about laughing I'll never figure out. What's wrong with Animox for animals? Patrick showed us some of his art and he has a very real talent as a painter. Keep that up Patrick!

The next morning we followed Fred to his impressive offices (he has a tidy desk! Are you listening Rainer?) and met the guys in the office for photos and then Fred generously treated us to a very entertaining Japanese style lunch where they fling the tools about, chuck bits of food at your face and generally get everyone laughing. Tasted good too!

We set off south to the dreaded Illinois but I was so sick of the crappy I94 that we rode the US45. After 1/2 hour we pulled into a coffee shop. We had hardly settled when the friendliest dishwasher and charity volunteer in Wisconsin sat down and insisted on paying for our coffee and cakes. He rides a Harley and we had such a laugh. Thanks so much 'Boise'. You epitomise the friendly, open Americans that we Brits enjoy so much! We rode on to Kenosha and that evening at a Cracker Barrel restaurant we were treated to a free desert by Bill Tamulis the manager after the waitress mentioned the charity ride. he also gave me a map of the USA to record my route. Thank you 'Corporate Bill'...

Monday June 2 and Steve shows me every nook and cranny

2008-06-10T08:10:00.000-07:00

I headed out Monday on a very warm day for Chicago Illinois. I chose to exit the Interstate at junction 0 the US 41 north along the lake. My pictures show the welcome I got to Chicago's south side. I enjoyed the photo ops and was not unduly worried about some of the stares I got from locals on the street corners with brown paper bags. I am heavily armoured and they only seemed curious that in such heat I would be so smothered in stickers and leather and gloves. I didn't chance any personal portraits though.

I stopped at Soldier Fields for a shot of this amazing stadium. I hear it was a controversial update. No kidding. I think it works well in spite of being a lover of classical-style architecture. I like modern if its creative but I would round up all the Kleenex-box architects of the 50's-80's and force them to study shape, shadow, style, and eye-teasing design using clean materials. Self-staining raw concrete eye-garbage? No thanks. Duffers. Rant over.

I rode up Michigan Ave. to meet a well-known ACC, Steve Stroz of Gold Coast Advisors, at 1 Magnificent Mile www.goldcoastadvisors.com but the car park said no motorcycles. Thanks Chicago. I found another where the friendly chaps even gave me a discount when I left for the charity! We had a funny few moments as I confused Steve with where I was waiting and he was being honked by impatient drivers. Sorry Steve! We walked to the beach to see spectacular views of this truly great city. I vastly prefer Chicago to New York. The skyscraper was invented here and the lakeshore protection is genius. I was very hot and felt a tad silly in my clobber but hey, I wanted to see Chicago and boy does Steve know the city. We walked about 6,000 miles. I most enjoyed the historical stones from around the world set into the walls of the Chicago Tribune building. The "Bean" sculpture was amazing too. We ate deep-dish pizza at the place it was invented and I filled my camera memory with city photos. About 9pm I said goodbye and headed off to meet Jax at Ohare Airport for the trip up north to Milwaukee. The rain started and by the time I found a motel it was chucking it down. I heard a London accent in the bar as we ate a burger and had a good laugh with Phil and Anne about life in the USA as a Brit. Tuesday was for discovering childhood haunts of Jax and getting to Peewaukee and a yoga class.

Lazy git...

2008-06-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

Well my intentions were good...I managed one blog...and slept on and off. Some solitaire may have been involved. I had a pleasant meal in the evening with Michael and a friend of his. Sunday morning I slept very late and met Michael for a parting brunch at a cafe near the motorway. He ordered a gyros and I foolishly went with the "Big Mike" breakfast. I thought it was funny. I weighed 65lbs more when I left and flattened the R1's tyres. The weather was good as I rode the I80/90 to South Bend Indiana. There is nothing to write about. I sat stared at cars. You know how you end up picking a "mate" to drive with on these long boring stretches? Some inseen figure in a car that you like the pace and style of? That's all I had to do. I'd hooked up behind a metallic red Chrysler 300 that set a brisk but unobtrusive pace. I stopped for a coffee after beginning to fall asleep again. I was aiming to get the Steve Stroz tour of Chicago on Monday and he had recommended stopping around South Bend Indiana. Done. That night, 264 miles down the road, I hauled myself into a motel, showered, unloaded all my gear and found that the stupid internet was unavailable. Between patchy connectivity and that blasted blocking of outgoing emails from Outlook I was falling far behind. I eventually had to cancel my stay, get all clobbered up again and ride 0.2 of a mile to the cheapest motel in the USA to get good internet. My experience is that the cheapo motels work every time and the 5 star resorts charge up to $12 per day and rarely work well if at all. The biggest opportunity in USA must be to get hotel/motel chains actually working with their wireless!

South Bend may claim Notre Dame as it's pride (not the original in France - this one is pronounced Noder Dame - as in female) but all I noted was the biggest unrepaired cracks in the roads yet seen. I am talking 6" deep and 8" wide gaps running across the roads! I assumed it was a speed limiting device as hitting one of these at 60mph would surely blow a tyre. The more I ride here in the USA the more shocked I am at the poor condition of the roads. I guess the military gets the money first eh?

Back to my Cleveland visits...

2008-06-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

Friday morning I rode south to Akron Ohio to meet Michael at Galaxy Medical. My single brain cell registered the link to Google maps (Lord spare me) but I failed to read the actual email and ended up arriving late as I was guided to the landing spot via mobile phone. Brian Emich the President of Galaxy came out with staff to say hello and wish me well on the charity ride. They are ACT! users with quite some experience and growing rapidly. Now that's nice to hear when all I hear is recession recession! Then on to Reliable Snow Plowing where Doug Beigie, Lori Fisher and Theresa Friebl met us. We begin a large ACT! implementation for them on Monday. I am so glad Michael is doing it...if it were me my brain would implode! Michael snapped me yapping about the charity with the girls. We then went on to lunch at a Red Robin where the service was so slow I am sure I saw Guiness Book of Records people timing the sloths. We then met J. at a bar. I wanted to sleep and that grass was so soft. J is an ACT! and Peachtree consultant. I had met her at Insights in Washington DC just weeks before. Did I remember her? Hey, I've been eating British beef...go easy on me. That evening we met with Alicia Hardy (another ACC from Cleveland) and Michael cooked us superb steaks on his outdoor cooker (I refuse to call those things BBQs as no charcoal is involved). Saturday was for resting. Supposedly.

Garrett Climbs Onboard "Full Circle" Tour

2008-06-07T12:31:00.000-07:00

Greetings Ladies and Gentlemen!…My name is Garrett Fulton. I’ll be joining James over the next 5 weeks for the remainder of the "Full Circle" tour. As I am a recent graduate of the New York Institute of Photography, (www.NYIP.com) Design R1 has requested my services to put a bit of polish onto the photography aspect of things. The following photos are by way of introduction:
Garrett with his ZXR 636 Kawasaki Ninja named "Orange Crush"….and Ducky.

The most incredible cat on the planet "Zoro" who not only flies but speaks Russian, Icelandic and several African "Clicking" dialects.

My mother "Beverly"….(yes, she’s to blame). In case you were wondering who the kindest person on the planet is…yup!…that’s her.

A night shot of the city of Minneapolis across the Mississippi.

Shot of a sunflower outside our house.

Before I go….a few thanks are in order as well to all of those who assisted getting me ready for this trip….. To every great destroyer of the human body (that’s me) there is an equally great rebuild of it, that’s my Doctor Haizal Hamza. She is my personal pit crew in life. Thanks Dr. Hamza! Thanks to Steve G. over at National Camera Exchange for all his advice and assistance. Additionally, a tip of the cap to Erik and Trent at Hopkins Hitching Post for helping me get all my gear and a high five to Erik, Alan in Service Dept. and the rest of the Crew over at Delano Sports Center for the tire change and bike camera. …and in case you were wondering where those awesome gloves come from that make Gene Simmons even jealous, …look up www.highvelocitygear.com They had the gloves shipped to me faster than James rides. So, welcome aboard, and I hope you enjoy the photos.

Cleveland visits

2008-06-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well I made Minneapolis without getting wet but back to my Cleveland visits. Michael Kadlub and I had an hour to kill before meeting Jeff so we snapped some pics at the Lake. The place was crawling with school kids and they ran over when they saw me all kitted up in my leathers. Kids love being in group photos and with the attention span of sparrows they were soon running off yelling at some other distraction. We met Jeff downtown in some elegant arcade. I must confess right now that I was quite impressed by Cleveland centre as clean and pleasant. As the photo shows, Jeff is very outgoing and he soon had a whole group of ladies asking about the Full Circle tour. I had the hot turkey sandwich with gravy because it so reminds me of trips around the States with my mum and dad when I was a nipper. I nearly licked the plate. An afternoon of emails back at Michaels and we met Jeff again later at some posh golf club where Michael grabbed my camera and became a monkey with a shotgun. A million shots later (froze my pooter up you did Michael!) I filter them and you can see the results. Renee the barmaid served us well. We met his friends and one character called Pete Longcar had us laughing the whole time. We were pretty sensible with the time as Friday meant a long ride to visit clients.

Wed/Thurs May 28, 29

2008-06-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

Upper NY to Cleveland on the I90. Now that was a ride to forget. Every time I needed fuel the exits were all ripped up. I did enjoy one ride, a small, circular detour to a very friendly attendant at a petrol station near Lake Erie that seemed to go on forever. Funny what a tank deep into reserve can do to your psyche! Back on I90 W to arrive at a motel 2 miles down the road from Michael. That evening we met up for food and a beer. The next morning, Thursday, I clobbered-up and followed Michael to see Sherry Tilson and the gang at the Cleveland Jewish News. They use ACT! and we were not there 5 minutes when Michael was off to help with little adjustments. The super-friendly atmosphere and sunny day made for some fun photos with Marty sitting on the R1 in fearless fashion. Rob Certner the CEO came out and sat on the bike. Rob is a biker and needs to get back on a fast bike...you hear me Rob? We headed out for lunch in the city with Michael Kadlub's brother Jeff who works for the Cleveland Cavaliers. Some photos are here, there will be more later...I have to ride 300 miles today in pouring rain to get to Minneapolis. YUK!

Tuesday...Niagara Falls!

2008-06-02T08:37:00.001-07:00

Tuesday morning Andrew stayed behind to say goodbye. Titus, their giant man-eating dog was used to me and willing me to stay and play. It looked cloudy and threatening but I took a chance and rode in leathers. FOOL! The temperature dropped to about 10 or 11 degC and by the time I refuelled just 12 miles up the road at Hwy 401 I was frozen. I donned my waterproofs for warmth but I never warmed up until I arrived at Laqua Ranch hours later. My former boss from the early 90's has a ranch about 40 miles from Niagara Falls. I spent extra hours to catch up on news and collect old friends email addresses and phone numbers. I waited to see how the kids had grown. It was the usual shock to meet a 6'2" boy who was 2' when I last saw him. Nice guitars Kevin! I was chucked off one of Andreas' horses back in 94 and broke my right arm clean off at the shoulder. Well, the skin stayed on. That was an event to be missed, trust me, especially since the 19 year old at the lousy Hamilton hospital didn't even know how to line up the X-ray machine. I swore then that the only horse I will ride again has a brake lever on it's right ear. Warmed up in every way I reluctantly turned down their generous offer to stay the night and rode to Niagara Falls in time to catch the evening rainbow. It was spectacular as ever. I do hate the way the tacky, honky-tonk tourist garbage always overtakes these wonders of nature but I suppose people were not as removed from nature so they didn't envision the slaughter that their commercial contrivances would wreak. Optical pollution I call it. The Canadian falls are the one to visit without a question. I had a lot of questions from the friendly border guard and eventually headed toward Cleveland on the USA side and flopped into a motel in NY. Next stop Cleveland and more devilment and tricks from our man Michael...

Toronto and Paul is up to devilment

2008-06-02T07:27:00.000-07:00

I heard Paul in the early hours getting ready to head out and wondered where he gets his energy from. I finally got up late and Jenny had coffee and directions for me in no time. Then I saw my helmet. I jumped out of my skin! "Flippin' 'eck, I don't remember falling on a rock..." were my first thoughts. Then I laughed at mischevious Paul's big kid trick. Their place has a Gaudi garden built by some mad architect so I had Jenny snap my picture in it. It was a beautiful sunny day and the ride along Lakeshore Blvd made me remember so many places and things from my school years here and especially my time at Northern Secondary studying fine art and painting. I make a note to return and see things old and new. I made good time up the Don Valley Parkway after snapping some shots of the CN Tower, the tallest man-made structure. It is so tall that apparently they had to cast it with a slight twist as the rotation of the earth straightens it out! Cool! Now if I borrow Charles Busa and spin the earth a bit faster will the tower snap?

The gang at Sage were so friendly and obliging (as always with Sage staff) (waddya mean I'm creeping?) and I met Paul for a fantastic Chinese meal like I have never had before. What? No rice? Paul has this honking great truck from the 70's that he drives like a sports car. Great fun.

I hit the road to meet my nephew way down in St. Thomas Ontario. The ride was hot and long and pretty boring as the flat farmlands rolled by. The real killer was the speeds. When you are restricted to 60mph it takes FOREVER to get across the flat lands of lower Canada. St. Thomas was a big railroad town so there are lots of cute houses from that era. Andrew and Tonya Kingstone spoiled me rotten. I had not met Tonya yet and I had not seen Andrew in 15 years! Kingstones can be pretty useless at keeping in touch but we tend to be easy going about it. There was so much news to catch up on it was 2am in no time. I slept like a dead man.

Sun May 21 Ottawa Brockville Toronto

2008-05-31T09:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday was supposed to be an early start for Shane and me. But being the two bad boys we are we stayed up until 4:30am debating philosophically (we fixed all the world's problems but the fools started all over again the next morning) and then decide that it is OK to leave at noon as long as we pacify our consciences by washing the bikes. His gorgeous black horizontally-opposed R series (I have to have the R in there) BMW naked bike is immaculate but he washed it anyway (and my R1- thanks Shane). I was packing my stuff and forgot my business card folder and map. DUH! Shane gave me a pair of cosy, warm gloves that later saved me. It was a tug to leave as I felt so relaxed and at home with Shane, Paula, Ethan and their friends but the ride to my first home was definitely looking good in the sunshine. Shane's BMW Rockster has torque. Great, stinking gobs of it. I loved watching him grunt off with an easy grace and swing into 90 degree turns at steep lean angles in a relaxed style. With my new 180/55 ZR17 tyres the R1 turns a smidgen faster than on the 190/50's but Shane's BMW had me very interested in trying one out. We walked around in Brockville for a bit and then had a salad on a roof-top terrace and gazed at the vast St. Laurence river. All that water and you can drink it! I am so used to the salty sea that my mind boggles at the sight of the great lakes and the millions of smaller lakes that intersect all over Canada and USA as they feed into this huge river.At 5pm I panicked at the long ride to Toronto and snapped a few shots of my original house. Plucking up the courage to knock on the screen door I explained that I lived in this house a LONG time ago. To my surprise, the owner was one Donny Sine, the 5 year old that took me tobogganing when I was 4 and who's parents were best friends with my parents. I remember after our return from Fulham, London, England we would ride the toboggan down the water tower hill and fly right off the stone wall into Perth street. Crazy kids. I said my goodbyes to Shane and hit the 401 to Toronto. That was a long ride and I overshot the turning to Paul and Jenny's Lakeshore boathouse/house. Paul Marantette (UPTiME Business Solutions) is an ACT! consultant for the Toronto area and one cool guy. He jumped in his '65 Corvette and as I swung back onto Islington Road I hear the roar of a V8 and he squeals in front to show me the way to their well-hidden historic house on the lake. BBQ steaks done to perfection, a good laugh with Jenny and Paul and I flop into bed. Paul is leaving at 5:30 to continue fixing his boat and then go assist an ACT! user in Markham Ontario, north of Toronto and right near a Sage office. I plan to meet him there.

patience is a virtue, seldom found in men...

2008-05-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

Yes I'm still alive and kicking...but only barely. I will update this weekend with photos etc.

Right now I'm in Cleveland visiting clients and planning a competition for the most unusual use of ACT! software. I have just been contacted about another Hole In The Wall camp being built in beautiful Sedona so that will round off my trip in great fashion. I look forward to meeting many of you soon as I ride through Chicago and Minnesota so do email me if you want a visit. Get the coffee on!

Fri Sat May 23/24 - Montreal smoked meat and flatlands

2008-05-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Friday I had to change my plans about visiting Marc Norton at his new east Montreal office but I have been promised a photo of the staff and office. was fun as Frank Buell and Luc (software consultants in Montreal...Frank doesn't support the Toronto Maple Leafs! Criminal!) met me for a Montreal specialty. Smoked meat sandwich. NOT to be confused with pastrami on rye. Frank has been riding for one year and his choice of bike was enough to generate jealousy in me. His red and black and silver BMW GS 1200 with all the kit is superb. I kept wondering whether I should have done this trip on such a bike, especially when I contemplated the rockies still ahead of me. But my R1 is eating this journey like a fox in a disabled chicken's hut so I'll save the BMW thing for a big two-up trip. I do fancy trying that new BMW 800 parallel twin GS. Hello? Any BMW dealers reading this?

So here I am eating until I burst on the BIGGEST meat sandwich in history (how they got 8 cows between 2 slices of rye bread is beyond me) and then the waitress offers cheescake. Frank said yes. That slice was the size of a hotel. I tasted a small forkfull. Glorious. I mean... as in REALLY good! The bad news was that the rain started. I now had to pull the rain jacket on and head out. It was blustery (the worst type of wind on a bike) and as I crossed a huge body of water (the St. Laurence river) the wind literally picked me and my gear and the R1 up and deposited me 4 feet across that lane next to a truck. Ever eat your own heart and swallow it with some Rennies? I BATTLED that wind. The worst bit was the sudden drop and I'm scooting left into the next lane. Straighten up and back it comes and I'm scooting right into the grill of a Peterbilt. At least I'll clean off the chrome easily...

Once on land it all settled down, the sun popped out occasionally and the flatlands of south-western Quebec numbed my mind with nothingness. A 60mph speed limit is bad but when the sole income for the whole Province is accidental speeders that set their hair on fire out of boredom and step on the gas and be damned... let's just say it takes Yoga style breathing to control your temper. A speed limit of 160mph would be safe on these bowling lane straight roads...

Shane Romaine's perfect directions got me through Ottawa's 3pm rush hour (they all work for the Canadian government from 11am until 2:30pm in this logging town - revenge from Queen Victoria for separating from the mother country I heard) and into his peaceful neighbourhood for a weekend of relaxation and catch-up. Shane is an Accpac consultant (Ascend Business Solutions) here in Ottawa and when we first met in Hawaii at the Sage President's Circle event we just hit it off. Then Shane and Paula his lovely blond wife of Finnish origin came to Phoenix to help DesignR1 install Accpac. I saw Shane at Insights and decided to detour to Ottawa to visit. Now Shane not only has a BMW Rockster and will ride with me on Sunday to my first home town of Brockville, but he plays guitar very well. So harmonica in one hand, beer in the other and singing with Shane I finally quit at 2am. Saturday was all about updating and shopping for RainX, and a camera bag to velcro to my petrol tank to make for quicker photo shoots. Visor up, shutter down, job done, ride on. Gotta love it! I also managed to chat with my sisters and mother who were all having a splendid time at my sister Laura's house in Wimbledon, London, England. It made me a tad homesick but I'll survive...Sunday...Brockville here we come.

Thursday: Vermont to Camp Hole in the Woods NY to Montreal

2008-05-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Thursday I awoke to a wet, cold day with low dark clouds. Made me homesick. I don't really like wearing rain gear but i needed to try to keep some body heat in. Normally I'm a human furnace waiting to spontaneously combust but when one is tired deep down it can be hard to "fire up" in the mornings. I had pulled a lower back muscle at some point and it's been a pain for a week. Probably the weight of my big fat belly pulling me into the shape of the Pilsbury dough boy that's done it. Anyway, old grumpy socks set off on the 9 West and within a few miles I saw a fantastic motorcycle dealership, Ronnie's Cycle Sales of Bennington Inc, so I whipped in to find a waterproof tank bag for my camera. They warmed me with a coffee, explained the way to the I87N to Lake Luzerne and were very friendly. No suitable bag though.

I slogged on through the cold into New York (the Empire State... I thought empire was a bad word?) and finally saw some sun as I pulled off to Lake Luzerne an hour early. I stopped for a hotdog and coffee (ugh, hotdogs don't do it for me...why did I eat it?) and discovered that the camp was 2 minutes away around the little lake. I met with Eileen Nash at 2pm and had a tour of the facilities. She was very busy so we kept it brief. This camp was not built from scratch but was converted. The log cabins in the woods have that real camp feel and as always the amenities to care for the kids are all there even to assist them experience skiing! One amazing story from the camp. See that tree? After the camp was named the Double H ranch that tree was discovered growing like the letter H. Freaky eh?

Although the sun was out and I was beginning to cook, I didn't trust the weather and sure enough I hit showers as I rode the I87 north to Montreal Canada. I generally don't enjoy the Interstates but I have to remark on this ride. The views here in upstate NY are amongst the best in America. I was stunned by the size and spectacular views of the mountains and forests from this motorway and the best of the best was about 20 odd miles south of Plattsburgh NY. I had no trouble crossing into Canada (shock of all shocks as my experiences in the past have been nightmares of neurotically paranoiad, gun-slinging, swaggering, aggressive border guards). The friendly lady with the french accent asked sensible questioned and wished me a pleasant stay. How nice! How do Canadians say the alphabet? A eh, B eh, C eh, d eh...

Here the scenery becomes flat and boring within minutes. The whole area is just flat farmlands so I spent my ride time mentally calculating miles into Kilometres and just trying to will myself as far as Montreal. I crossed a huge bridge on the 15N into Montreal and was instantly struck by how French it was. Looking down from that bridge I had a strong sense of looking at some industrial estate outside of Paris. The roads in Montreal are 3rd world standard - if that. I wanted to stop and contact Marc Norton and Frank Buell who are ACCs in Montreal. I walked into a restaurant/bar and told the older woman I just wanted to sit at the bar and have a coffee. "No. You must eat to get a drink" she said. I was in France. "Goodbye" I said and walked out. Balancing a laptop and camera and mobile phone on a slippery tank of an R1 in a Tim Horton car park is no way to find that everyone has gone home. I searched for a motel until Frank called me and gave me tips that saw me comfortable and warm in a motel in Pointe Claire. 286.5 miles wasn't a big distance but I was on the road for over 10 hours so I was glad to settle in for a hot shower and the most expensive McDonalds burger on the planet. Get me out of Quebec before I go bankrupt!

Wednesday, eCopy and on to VT

2008-05-23T15:16:00.000-07:00

I didn't get up very early. I was meeting Chip Whitman and Vicky Malis at eCopy in Nashua at 1pm. An English customer of ours, Hub Software, have written a connector between the eCopy document scanning software and ACT! and SageCRM. We offer that product in the USA as ConnectR1 so it was good to finally meet the executives that we will work with. ConnectR1 allows any person scanning or copying a document to attach it to a contact in ACT! and then to book a task for that contact's account manager - all right at the copier, a very useful time-saver.

Nashua is heavily forested and a very clean sort of place. I wondered lost for a few miles until a helpful petrol station chap put me on the right way. Go east to go west he said. That'll work...

I wanted to get as far across Vermont as possible that afternoon as I was due to visit the Hole In The Woods camp at Lake Luzerne New York the next day. As I progressed across the Green Mountains on Hwy 9 it grew wetter and colder by the minute. I wore my waterproof frogtogs and a neck-warmer but I was FROZEN with a capital F. I clung to the bars in a frigid hunch until Bennington. The friendly lady at the cute white-picket fenced motel told me that it had snowed two days before! I was not surprised. Finding the heating and rigging a makeshift glove drier I jumped in a hot shower to see if the lumps of frozen beef on the end of my arms still had those dangly little bits that hit keys on a pooter...

En route I saw historical towns and buildings and the famous covered bridges that made me wish for weeks of free time and 50 cameras on the bike. The lakes come up to the road on either side (an American specialty that is remarkably beautiful) and these hills are very nearly mountains (after Switzerland I am difficult to please in the mountain department). The forests are so dense and beautiful because they are made up of a mix of deciduous and coniferous trees with the white trunks of the beloved paper birch set against this rich green backdrop. My fascination on the arctic ride was how people made their way here and built farms and homes and towns in the 1700's!!! Those were tough people and it kept me riding as I felt such a wimp in their shadow. As I rode on I saw a sign for a lake to the right and ducked down the road. A hastily eaten sandwich at this reservoir built in 1950 kept me fueled and fired up. Another fascination was the English names for the towns. I doubt there is a village, town or city in England that doesn't have an equivalent in New England. Which may go some way to explaining the name New England...

Plymouth Rock and Roll

2008-05-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

Monday we headed North from Newport RI towards Boston on Rt 24 then cut east to Plymouth on Rt 44. The weather was glorious and the scenery in Massachusetts is fabulous. I loved Plymouth. The houses, the trees, the ocean, the antiquity and the atmosphere. But the best was yet to come. We bought salt water taffy (no big deal really, I can't see how this sweet could become famous) and took pics and learned about the rock that was supposed to be where we Brits first landed and began designing strip malls. Oops. Sorry. That's why we secretly planned to lose the Revolutionary war...we just knew you'd come up with strip malls and McDonalds.

We rode the 3, 3A and the 228 up the coast to Hull Massachusetts way out on a spit in the Atlantic ocean east of Boston called Nantasket Beach. Hingham is nearby and I loved the houses in this area. Tuesday we headed for Logan Airport in Boston and boy was THAT a scary ride as we bucked and bounced over the patches on the 3 and I93 with trucks and traffic on all sides. Jax flew back home and I wasn't 10 minutes down the road to Boston before realising how much the R1 and I missed having her on board. I must have the R1 set up too hard because it handles so smoothly and comfortably with Jax on. Her (admittedly miniscule) weight is the perfect extra for the roads. But I was missing the fun and laughter most. I rode to memorial drive and worked on some emails at a Starbucks then rode north to Burlington to meet Lesley Denny, an ACC covering Boston. Lesley is such a cheery soul and we chatted about Sage, ACT!, the conference etc. until it was time for her to join her hubby. I stayed nearby ready to ride to Nashua New Hampshire to meet with the eCopy executives.

Newport RI here we come!

2008-05-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning saw me writing emails as best I could. I called Bob Kennedy, an ACC running Kenbar near New Haven. Bob was the first person to donate to the charity based on my first email. He spoke to me briefly at Insights in DC and then he drove the 1/2 hour to East Haven to have a coffee with Jax and myself. Bob has travelled and done things. He has stories that could fill a book never mind an hour's visit. It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so unassuming yet so interesting. Jax and I decided that Bob was a real friend and that we need to come back to Connecticut to hear more of his travels. We had planned our route from Google maps but fortunately I asked a petrol station attendant and we got a nice tip that led us through a slower, more scenic route to Newport. That night we shared a plate of scampi at Flo's in Middletown. Lisa the barmaid was very friendly and gave me Flo stickers for the bike to prove we had made it to their restaurant. Fried downstairs, baked upstairs...
P.S. Go back to former blog about Insights for new photos.

Sunny Saturday sees the camp!

2008-05-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

I slept very late. Eventually we called Ray who had stayed overnight at the camp and confirmed we would try again. What a great day out. The sun was shining, the road was fast and the I91, I84, Hwy74 and Hwy44 were beautiful with spring trees turning from red to green. At the camp, the employees were throwing a birthday party for Kevin. He entertained them with his BeaverMan costume. It seems beavers can be a problem if you have a rather large tree house that the kids enjoy. Moving the furry tree-munchers to other locations is a bit of a lark to say the least. We were treated to a tour by Ray, ate burgers cooked by Tad the ex-NY cop, snapped photos and witnessed the joy that these kind-hearted people share with the kids. Needless to say, the facilities and arrangements to care for the kids is awesome. During the tour I saw 3 lads playing what looked like a cross between Lacrosse and field hockey. An American girl asked what it was. "Hurling" I said "from Ireland". And sure enough the 3 lads were from Ireland! Padraig, Mark and Paul heard I was English(ish) and attempted to kill me on the spot (for the protection of the children of course). I can't wait to do the UK/Ireland tour and visit the camp just west of Dublin. I'll get a proper beating there you wimpy Irish lads!

We headed back to our East Haven hideaway. The staff at that Quality Inn motel were so cheerful and helpful it was embarrassing. En route I suspected that Jax was flagging a little so I pulled off the motorway (sorry...Interstate) at Wethersfield. What a pleasant surprise. History before your eyes (although I suspect that no self-respecting Brit would paint a house these colours!). We had a drink at the local Tavern, took pics and headed back.

Friday May 16th - Wet, Wet, Wet

2008-05-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

As Jackie and I packed the R1 the rain picked up again. This was the first test of my FrogTogs rain gear. These new wet weather clothing are like paper and weigh nothing yet are wind and water proof. Designed for outdoors people in general, I think they could do wonders if they do a range focused on biking per se. We left Westport for the New Haven offices of Hole in the Wall Gang. Richard had a regatta on that weekend and was very busy. He was hoping to win the race! Richard, we can't thank you enough for your fantastic support and assistance.

We got lost thanks to flamin' Google maps who told us to exit at 48 off the I91N when in fact it is right at Exit 46 off of I95N just BEFORE they split! The positive side was seeing some of the lovely streets of New Haven which is quite Old Haven. So, wet and frustrated, we arrive a tad late at 555 Long Wharf Drive and the HQ of Hole in the Wall Gang. We were meeting Ray Shedd and Linda Rapp (who set me up from the beginning when I was still planning back in England). Linda took the time to come in with her tiny new baby girl Shelby just to meet me and Jax. A welcome coffee, directions to the Ashford CT camp, a motel 3 minutes away booked and off we went with plans to meet Ray 70 miles north up I91 at Ashford. We met James Canton the Executive Director and Kevin the CFO and others that my British Beef addled brain can't remember.

We left the motel in East Haven in light drizzle. After 34 miles of freezing, lashing, visor-fogging rain I decided to abandon the visit when an overhead sign declared that our exit (only our exit of course) was "experiencing" huge delays. How do these poor exits survive all their "experiences"? I pulled in to a Wendys burger place that advertises "original" burgers. Original as in "novel" would explain square burgers but the intended misconception of original as in "traditional" does not wash. Why do they use that awful tin-foil wrap for fast-food burgers? It makes the heat-lamp warm trash all soggy and limp. dealing with the shock of a burger the size of a postage stamp is enough aggro when you are frozen and wet. Soggy one does not need. No more Wendys for me mate. I will stare in wonder at their next TV ad. The wonder will be how they don't get sued for malicious misinformation.

We arrived very wet and very cold in East Haven and decided to rest up as I had now come down with a sore throat and cold. I was well and truly knackered. How Jax managed after an operation is beyond me. Tough little cookie.

Thursday evening - DC to Westport Connecticut

2008-05-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

For safety reasons the R1 was almost empty so when I swung in behind Richard Gordon's X35at 3pm I needed fuel. We headed north in good weather and after 15 miles we eventually managed a petrol station. I could see the animated conversation going on in the car. Around Philadelphia some chap on a fast yellow Suzuki with a girl on the back pulled alongside and waved. A moment later some dingbat using a mobile phone whilst driving cut him off very dangerously. He signalled me to see if I had noticed and with hand-signals we agreed that all car users on mobile phones should be shot on sight. He speeds off. Near the centre of Philadelphia, still on the I95 north, Richard scoots over to take another motorway and as I attempt to follow a woman in a red SUV talking on her MOBILE FLIPPIN' PHONE overtakes me on the inside, nearly sideswipes me and blocks my exit. I watched helpless as they passed over my head on an overpass west. I was pretty annoyed so I rode up to miss clueless on her mobile and banged on the window with my carbon-fibre-knuckled gloves. She looked horrified and literally threw the phone onto the passenger seat and drove on staring straight ahead as if too terrified to move. Mission accomplished. Maybe a life saved. Don't ever drive and use a hand-held mobile. It turns out that the Suzuki rider and his girl saw the whole thing and they laughed and gave me a big thumbs-up for warning that dumb woman.

I thought that maybe Richard knew some cute eating place near the Liberty Bell and that was why he changed motorways but it turned out to be a wise shortcut. I simply rode on to a petrol station, called them and caught up at the Westport Inn 15 minutes behind them. Boy was I glad of the sleep that night after 61/2 hours non-stop riding!

Some nice things happened en route. A chap on a Kawasaki 1400 naked bike rode up beside me and waved. At my first toll booth I was behind him and asked if motorcycles go free as in England. It's such a palaver to get money out when you have gloves and rain gear and helmets that it's not worth the dollar to hold up the cars. Nope. The US of A wants every almighty dollar... suddenly he waves me through the barrier. I hesitate as it looks illegal. The friendly lady at the kiosk said we could both go. I do not know whether he paid for me or just told them that a dumb Brit was with him but he got me through 2 tolls at no charge. Thank you Licence plate number RZL 70!!!

Also some bad things happened en route besides drivers on phones. The roads. Washington DC and New York NY should be made nuclear test sites. The state of the I95 around the George Washington Bridge must make that President turn in his grave. The bumps and pot holes are so violent that they threw my panniers off to one side and nearly made me crash. I pulled over as trucks the size of Trump Towers thundered past and refixed the bags. One minute later I hit a bump so hard it flung my backpack opwards into my helmet driving the helmet over my eyes leaving me blind. THAT freaked me out I can tell you! To replicate my journey, get a very, very fat friend to sit on a see-saw (teeter-totter?) and repeatedly jump on and off their seat for 4-6 hours. As I rolled into the Motel in Westport the rain drops started.